YOUNG-WOMEN Messages for April, 2002: Re: Exam Fears

Re: Exam Fears

From: M. Kelly Shanahan, MD, FACOG (anonymous@obgyn.net)
Fri, 5 Apr 2002 23:41:40 -0600 (CST)

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At Fri, 5 Apr 2002, Anon. wrote: >
>This may be an odd issue to post to a gyn board, but this is the only
>place I know of where women gather and talk about these kinds of things,
>among themselves and with medical professionals. I would be way too shy
>to ever bring this up with women I know in my real life.
>
>What I am reluctant to bring up with said women is the fact that I am
>terrifed of being examined in any sort of intimate way. (GYN exams,
>rectal exams--any exam where clothing comes off creates in me immediate
>hypertension.
>
>I have had a handful of exams in my life so far, and all have been
>normal. Despite the fact that they are not "new" to me, they remain a
>humiliating and frightening experience - as does any exam "down there".
>I feel so ashamed afterwards - ashamed of my body, and how it works, and
>usuallsy ashamed of whatever problem I have it that brought me to seek
>help in the first place.
>
>Sometimes I even feel less innocent or less of a virgin, because I have
>had pelvic exams. I am not confused - I know that the pelvic exam
>itself does not "take my virginity" or anything like that. I guess it's
>just the idea that someone else has seen and touched parts of my body
>that are so very, very private. It feels like a violation.
>
>I can't be the only person out there who has these feelings. I am
>wondering how other women deal with these things? Does it ever get
>easier? What are some suggestions for dealing with these issues?
>
>I have tried searching the archives for answers, but I am not entirely
>sure what keywords I should use. I haven't had much luck finding
>previous threads on this topic.

First, you need to find a doctor who will listen to your fears (talking to you while you are fully dressed) and respect them. Whenever I have someone tell me they are this fearful and ashamed of being examined, I have to wonder if there is anything behind this -- prior rape, sexual abuse, family or social situation that believes teh female body is "dirty" or "sinful". IF these are issues, than good counseling can be so helpful. If there really aren't such issues, an understanding doc can go a long way.

--
M. Kelly Shanahan, MD, FACOG
S. Lake Tahoe, CA

author of "Your Over-35 Week-by-Week Pregnancy Guide"

**this is for general educational purposes only and does not supplant the need for you to consult with your own physician**
***private e-mails WILL NOT be answered***

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