YOUNG-WOMEN Messages for November, 2001: Re: Unable to get aroused w/ a partner

Re: Unable to get aroused w/ a partner

From: Anna (anonymous@obgyn.net)
Wed, 28 Nov 2001 23:57:04 -0600 (CST)

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In reply to: Megan: "Unable to get aroused w/ a partner"

Megan,

I am 33, and according to my boyfriend, I am the driest woman he's ever been with, and still it doesn't make us have any less fun. We use all sorts of tricks to solve the pain issue - oral sex as foreplay (yay! ;-), the trusty Astroglide, and I went off the Pill as it seemed to make it worse (which brought up a whole different set of contraception issues, but it was worth it). Occasionally, I wish for things to be different, but this is how I am made, and any man I sleep with better take my body and its specific characteristics into consideration. If he won't do that, what good will he be with all the other issues in a relationship?

One more thing: You wrote you had problems getting aroused, but then mentioned only lack of lubrication. I guess it didn't come out right, but if you were truly not aroused, why have sex? To please him? Where are you and your needs in that equation? Sex is not a one-way street, no matter how difficult your body may be. Good guys finish last.

Best, Anna

At Wed, 28 Nov 2001, Megan wrote: >
>I started having sex for the first time a few months ago. I really
>loved the man I was with & so I did not admit that I couldn't get wet or
>adequately aroused when with him. I did not realize until recently that
>the dryness was not normal & was what caused pain & difficulty in
>penetration. Now I wonder if I have a problem with dryness. I am only
>seventeen. Other girls I talk to say getting wet has never been a
>problem & happens quite easily. I wonder if something is wrong with me.
>We had to use lubricatio every single time. Is this common & whether or
>not it is, is there any information available on this subject?

Next message: Emily: "Unneccesary Pap-Smear at an early age led to destruction of hymen?"
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