YOUNG-WOMEN Messages for March, 2001: Re: I overheard my gyn talking...

Re: I overheard my gyn talking...

From: William McIntosh, MD (anonymous@obgyn.net)
Tue, 13 Mar 2001 08:50:01 -0600 (CST)

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Reply: Alex: "Re: I overheard my gyn talking..."

. My doctor was saying that he was a total geek >in school and never even had a girlfriend until he was halfway through
>med school, then he said that now he "get's" all the women he wants.
>This made me so uncomfortable that I got re-dressed, and left his office
>saying that I started my period, instead of letting him examine me one
>more time. His partner was just as bad joking around about this
>subject. I'm not sure what to do, is this why men become GYN's in the
>first place for some sick power trip? I am so angry, confused, and sick,
>I don't know what to do.

While in no way defending what they said, there is another way of looking at this. One of the hardest things for non-medical people to understand about medical people is the horrible things that we see and do everyday. The traditional coping mechanism for this a very, very dark sense of humor. We say things to one another that are not for public consumption, they are only for those that see what we see and do what we do.

Yesterday, I told a woman that her baby was going to live, another one that her baby was going to die, a third woman that the tumor was malignant, and a fourth that her biopsy was benign. This was in the space of 30 minutes. I am not looking for sympathy, I love my job, and I wouldn't do anything else, even if I could, but those kinds of stresses lead to consequences. These are the things that cause doctors to have such high rates of suicide and divorce, that can lead to trouble with substance abuse and so on. Many of us have a very morbid, sardonic, and dark sense of humor as a means of coping. It is literally choosing to laugh rather than cry.

I don't know these guys that you are talking about, and I am not trying to defend them or what they said. I do know that many conversations take place, in all professions, perhaps even in your own place of employment, that we would not want the customers to hear. Jokes, even those in bad taste, are ways of dealing with stress.

-- William D. McIntosh, MD, FACOG

This is for educational purposes only, and is not a substitute for consultation and examination by a licensed medical professional.

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