YOUNG-WOMEN Messages for September, 2000: Re: I am so confused...

Re: I am so confused...

From: William F. von Almen, II, MD, FACOG (anonymous@obgyn.net)
Sun, 10 Sep 2000 08:17:35 -0500 (CDT)

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At Sat, 9 Sep 2000, carrie wrote: >
>To whom it may concern,
>
>i have been friends with this particular guy for 13 years, and last year
>we tried dating...it didn't work, but we are still very close friends
>with a lot of chemistry between us. I am a college freshman, and this
>person is coming to visit me for the weekend in 2 weeks. The issue of
>sex has come up before, but now I have started to seriously think about
>it, but I am terribly nervous. I have heard so many stories about
>pregnancy, and STD's, and I think that I have worked myself up so much,
>I am terrified to left a man touch me, let alone give my virginity to
>him. I am very confused. I have never been to a gynecologist, and I am
>19 years old. I do not know if I should go on birth control just to be
>on the safe side, and even if I do, I am terrified that my parents will
>find out. Could you please, please, please give me some advice?? This
>is all i have been thinking about for two weeks...
>
>Thank you so much.

Carrie

Well, let me approach this from 2 fronts. 1. Even if you got in to see a gyn and started the pill, it will not be totally effective for 1 cycle, and of course you will have to use condoms as back up, and those are better for protection from STD's as the pill offers no std protection. Also, remember, you start the pill the sunday after a period starts, so the timing may be off anyway.

2. All that said, here is what I really want to tell you! Why have sex with this guy at all? If you are as close a friends as you say you are, I can guarantee you this act will ruin that friendship. If this guy is a great a person as you say he is, he will really understand (and may be just as afraid as you are). I know this is the over 40 dad in me talking, but it takes 2 to tango, and you do not have to DO THIS.

Lots of luck, I know you will make the right decision.

--
William F. von Almen, II, MD, FACOG
Editorial Advisor-Pregnancy and Birth
Private Practice
New Orleans, La.

*Please understand I can not respond to private emails.

*These comments are for educational purposes only.  They are
not meant to take the place of an examination by a qualified
health care provider.  They are not intended to be the start
of a physician-patient relationship.

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