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Vaginal Toneness Gone!From: Stacey (anonymous@obgyn.net)Mon, 29 Nov 1999 15:40:15 -0600 (CST)
Hi, I'm not certain if I've used the correct terminology because I don't have a clue what's going on with me. I've spoken with my GYN nurse practioner and is scheduled to meet with my GYN doctor. Here Goes! My husband and I have been together for 13 years but separated for 1 1/2 years due to his incarceration. Wer were very sexually active during the the 13 year period. We've had 3 children delivered by cecerian birth. During our separation we have been celibate and upon his release we were so looking forward to having sex again. However, what we experienced, neither of us could have expected. What was once so enjoyable has turned out to be a major problem in our relationship. When his penis enters my vagina, it's as though he is lost. I mean really lost! I tried not to make a big issue of it the first time we were together, however, very little has changed. I spoke with the nurse practioner and she could only speculate some possibilities. She indicated my being 34 years old and gaining some weight(I was 130 and probably 145 now) that perhaps I have lost some muscle tone in the vaginal area. She recommended I begin the kegle exercises and hopefully within 5-6 months I would notice a difference. However, my husband is insistent that I have been unfaithful and that is why we are experiencing this problem. Another doctor told me, "it's like any other muscle, if you don't use it, the muscle tone will be lost". He, too, suggested the kegle exercise and continue having sex and things would come back to normal. Dealing with pressure from my husband, I persisted with the nurse practioner asking if there could be any other reason this could be happening and today she discussed the possibility of my husband not having as hard an erection as he did before the separation. As my nurse practioner pointed out,his not having as hard an errection may not completely fill my vagina as much as he used to and this could also be a factor. When I presented this to him, he became very adamant that he was in no way the blame here. Not to mention, I shared with her the fact that we both have been maturbating during his incarceration as well as since his release and according to her that would become a factor in at least his erection size. She pointed out we should seek out additional information from self-help books and try to learn as much as we could about our situation. She advised us to meet with the doctor and have an exam to determine the tone or lack of tone of my vagina, whether kegle exercise would be effective or whether surgery would be recommended. She also recommends counseling. What are the possibile causes for my situation? He enters me, he maintains a brief erection and then I don't feel him very much at all and then it's over. The only orgasms I experience with him are during foreplay (direct clitoris contact). We both want more from our sexlife. Do you know of any additional causes or cures?
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