WOMENS-HEALTH Messages for October, 1999: Re: tubal ligation

Re: tubal ligation

From: anonymous@obgyn.net
Tue, 26 Oct 1999 22:51:46 -0500 (CDT)

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In reply to: anonymous@obgyn.net: "Re: tubal ligation"

At Sun, 24 Oct 1999, anonymous@obgyn.net wrote: >

I, too, had a tubal ligation immediately following giving birth to my second child. I went straight from delivery to surgery. I had mulled the idea some during my pregnancy, but really didn't seriously consider it until the 37 week, when I began having problems with my blood pressure and edema. At that point, I just wanted to live through the pregnancy and raise my son. When my 9 lb. plus baby breached at 38 weeks and a C-section planned, I told my doctor I wanted a tubal also. The day before the C-section was scheduled, my doctor discovered my baby had turned to normal birth position and canceled the C-section. After I delivered naturally, and while he was sewing me up, he mentioned I could come back in 6 weeks for the tubal. I told him I didn't want to be put to sleep for it then, so he talked to the anesthestic and the surgery was planned and done right then.

The first few days I was so relieved to have safely delivered and to have my stressful pregnancy behind me and my baby daughter in my arms. Then I went home from the hospital and found myself crying and with an unshakable sadness that reminded me of the sadness I felt after a miscarriage. When my best friend called and I told her how I felt she immediatley connected my sadness and sense of loss to the tubal. Talking to her helped and in a few days the depression subsided. Then, when I went back for my six-week check-up and realized I would never be doing this again, I got depressed again. This depression also subsided after a fews days. But each time I reached a milestone with my baby it would return. It was especially rough the month she turned a year old. Then one morning when she was about 16 or 17 months (about the time I weaned her from the bottle) I was sitting at a red light at an intersection and felt the sadness returning. I just started praying in my car and asked God to forgive me for making such an important decision without praying about it first and seeking His guidance. I told Jesus if I had misssed His will and was supposed to have another baby to please bypass the tubal and send the baby. That was four years ago and I haven't been depressed since about having the tubal. I have not had another baby, but I now have peace about the tubal. I hope you find peace about your decision also.

Bobbie

>At 09:35 PM 10/23/99 -0500, you wrote:
>>At Sat, 24 Jul 1999, Traci wrote:
>>>
>>>I am 29 yrs. old with 3 beautiful children. After I had my last child
>>>9-26-98, I had a tubal ligation. Throughout my pregnancy I was
>>>pressured to have a tubal done by some friends and family. People often
>>>frown on someone having 3 or plus children. Unfortunatly I listened and
>>>had it done. From the very next day after having it done I was full of
>>>regret and very angry with myself for getting it done. My husband and I
>>>own our own business in a small town and can't afford to have a reversal
>>>done. The only thing that gives me any hope at all is the fact that if
>>>it is Gods will for me to have another baby, a tubal ligation can't stop
>>>Gods hand. I would like to hear from anyone who is feeling the same or
>>>who has gotten pregnant after a tubal ligation. Thank you.
>>
>>--
>just a thought--- If you couldn't afford a reversal---- how could you afford
>another child? I think sometimes people concentrate on what they now can't
>get rather than on what they have. Maybe talking to someone about
>this--hospital social worker, minister, counselor--would help you
>concentrate on the actual children you have and not on the imaginary
>children you won't have---- an might not have ever had, either with or
>without the tubal.
>
>Life is filled with decisions, and often people find themselves second
>guessing the big decisions. I can only urge you to look to the future and
>to the joy you have with your children. If you have read the posts on this
>forum very long, you will know there are many women who envy you and the
>life you have with your kids. One thing, since you talk about God's will,
>perhaps you might pray for peace with your decision, so that you can enjoy
>you life more fully.
>
>Best wishes,
>
>Dee
>>

Next message: Gina: "Re: Adenomyosis??"
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In reply to: anonymous@obgyn.net: "Re: tubal ligation"

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