WOMENS-HEALTH Messages for August, 1999: Re: MARK:: Acute/complete loss of libido 10 years ago--never revived.

Re: MARK:: Acute/complete loss of libido 10 years ago--never revived.

From: Mark (anonymous@obgyn.net)
Fri, 27 Aug 1999 19:52:49 -0500 (CDT)

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Reply: Susan: "Re: MARK:: Acute/complete loss of libido 10 years ago--never revived."

At Thu, 26 Aug 1999, Susan wrote: >
>1) Does your wife have many female friends? Does she go out w/them much,
>a little, any?
>Does any of this make sense (to anyone)?
_______________________ Yes it does, and we've covered all of these bases. She doesn't have

_______________________ *many* female friends, but she does have a lot of family here. (We moved here from Texas about five years ago to address that issue.) _______________________

>2) DO you ever just touch her like giving her a back massage w/out
_______________________ >wanting anything else? Seriously, sometimes guys will do it
>subconciously, but it usually signals "the mood". She might feel
>resentful b/c it's only for one thing.
________________________ This is the unusual part. (I will have to admit that early during this

________________________ problem, I did seem to be somewhat "obsessive" but only because that was a big part of our relationship prior to our first child. She was just as sexually aggressive as I, if not more so, prior to Elizabeth. But it died, just like flipping a switch, and it took me some time to adjust.) I'd love to give her a massage but she doesn't seem to really enjoy any of that. She hasn't asked for it, either. In fact, totally non-sexual contact is what the counselor suggested, but it appears she can participate in the act of sex far easier than other contact--minus the arousal, though.

Sex is rather plain. Nothing exotic, and no foreplay. It appears to be just to relieve "any physical stress I may have accumulated." _________________________

>3) What would you say is your involvement in the actual caring of your
_________________________ >children on a day to day basis? DO you cook dinner, clean house, take
>days off to help w/the sick children? Things like that?
__________________________

I do a fair amount of taking care of the children when I get home. I'm

__________________________ not one of those guys that sinks into the couch when I get through the door. I take care of the bills, wash dishes, cook breakfast Sunday morning, offer to watch the kids while the wife takes the day off, take her out to dinner maybe once a month. Actually, it's all at her discretion. The offer's always there, if she wants to take me up on it--and she's aware of that, too. _________________________

>4) Does your wife get much/any alone time?
_________________________ _________________________

In the evenings. She hides in the bedroom with a book. I'll do the

-- dinner thing with the kids. The books are where she finds her "escape." And, quite often, she doesn't appear to welcome interruption--even if it's a desire on my part for conversation. __________________________

>6) Has your wife changed physically that much? __________________________ __________________________

She's kept a fair amount of the tummy size she gained from the second pregnancy, but that's not really an issue with me. It appears to be with her, however, because she seems embarrassed about her body. She does her best to hide it from me, even though I've assured her that she is indeed still beautiful and still turns me on. It did little good, though.

It's like I said earlier: She thinks the relationship is great other than our sexual incompatibility. When I asked her to be absolutely honest with me and point out my faults, she said I didn't have any. She would like to have her libido revived, but we don't have the foggiest idea how.

Mark

Next message: debbie: "Re: Breast reduction"
Previous message: Natalie: "GETTING PREGNANT"
In reply to: Susan: "MARK:: Acute/complete loss of libido 10 years ago--never revived."
Next in thread: Susan: "Re: MARK:: Acute/complete loss of libido 10 years ago--never revived."
Reply: Susan: "Re: MARK:: Acute/complete loss of libido 10 years ago--never revived."

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