Re: Acute/complete loss of libido 10 years ago--never revived.
From: Merry (anonymous@obgyn.net)
Thu, 26 Aug 1999 12:21:49 -0500 (CDT)
Wow 4 days a month? Try maybe once a month here heheh... I'm only 23,
and had a baby 9 months ago... Not that I really was much interested in
sex before getting pregnant either... perhaps I should get checked out
as well? What kind of doctor is the right one to see about this? This is
something that I think drives my husband nuts, he thinks I dont love him
or I'm not attracted to him... he doesnt understand that I'm just not
interested in sex! I didnt lose my virginity til I was almost 20... he
claims that in past relationships he was pretty much attacked if they
went 3 days without sex and here, it might happen once a month!!!
At Thu, 26 Aug 1999, Cheryl wrote:
>
>Might I make a suggestion. Her dr didn't think it was hormonal. Why?
>Did he offer to do hormonal blood tests to make sure, seeing as how he
>finally put her on estratest? I have a somewhat similar situation. I am
>33, and have no libido whatsoever, well, except for maybe four days a
>month, other than that, there is nothing. I recently had some of my
>hormones tested, and it was found I had a significant deficiency in
>testosterone, which I have just began taking supplementation of.
>I would advise you to ask for a complete hormonal work-up on your wife.
>One more question, did your wife have her tubes tied by any chance after
>the last child? Hope this helps some. Cheryl :o)
>*****************************************************8
>
>At Thu, 26 Aug 1999, betty wrote:
>>
>>Seeing no one has replied. Try the boards at http://www.pathfinder.com/ddrruth
>>and http://www.parentsplace.com. You might find some good advice there. Go to
>>these sites and look for the "boards". Let me know if you have trouble
>>finding them.
>>
>> At Sun, 22 Aug 1999, Mark wrote:
>>>
>>>Please bear with me because this doesn't seem to fit the stereotype
>>>usually associated with this. I'm also not sure my posting is welcome
>>>here since this is a woman's forum.
>>>My wife lost any libido she may have possessed 10 years ago with the
>>>birth of our daughter (my wife was 32 at the time). Along with it,
>>>interest in showing *any* affection, sexual or non-sexual, has also
>>>disappeared. Prior to this, we had two years of warm, blissful
>>>marriage.
>>>I've asked her how she perceives the rest of the relationship and she
>>>answers "great." When I asked her what she would change about me if she
>>>could, she answered, "nothing."
>>>For the last 4 years, she's been through counseling (actually, we both
>>>have), depression therapy (she took Serazone for 2 years), and we're now
>>>seeing a marriage counselor. The reason we waited so long to look for
>>>help is we weren't really sure we could afford it. Now we can't afford
>>>not to.
>>>Anytime there is a sexual encounter, she is incapable of any arousal. In
>>>fact, the whole experience has become something to avoid--she doesn't
>>>get anything out of it; and I feel more like a rapist than a lover when
>>>it's over. There's so many negative feelings, and more restrictions
>>>than I care to mention.
>>>I'm only 40 years old and am not looking forward to a life of married
>>>celibacy. She is presently taking Estratest (has been for 2 months).
>>>There is still no revival of any sexual interest; although there was one
>>>time when she did have what she termed as a satisfying orgasm. But this
>>>only happened after an hour of stimulation.
>>>If this problem only pertained to the actual sex act itself, maybe it
>>>would be bearable; but it invades every aspect of our lives. There is
>>>no other sign of affection sought after, except maybe the occasional
>>>hug. No kissing, no carressing, no sitting close, little conversation
>>>(she's got her head crammed in a book most of the time), etc. Anything
>>>on that order has to be initiated by me, and quite often is not welcome.
>>>Yet she seems totally satisfied (other than our sexual incompatibility)
>>>with the marriage.
>>>
>>>What do we do? Her doctor didn't think this was hormonal, but what else
>>>could it be? She did respond a little to the Estratest. There's no
>>>drive, but there was a satisfying orgasm (not that any attempt to
>>>duplicate it has been sought).
>>>By the way, I need to add that we've had another child 9 months ago. The
>>>reason for this was so that my wife "could have something to enjoy in
>>>this marriage" (her words, not mine). As a result, the gap has only
>>>widened, since I've been shoved to the outermost part of her world due
>>>to the fact that she's now breast-feeding and caring for a new-born.
>>>
>>>My question is: Is there a hormone treatment plan that works? Or, what
>>>other alternatives do we have to restore some normalcy to this "business
>>>arrangment" we call a marriage. It's like being married to your sister.
>>>
>>>Mark
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