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Re: Acute/complete loss of libido 10 years ago--never revived.
From: Cheryl (anonymous@obgyn.net)
Thu, 26 Aug 1999 09:09:14 -0500 (CDT)
Might I make a suggestion. Her dr didn't think it was hormonal. Why?
Did he offer to do hormonal blood tests to make sure, seeing as how he
finally put her on estratest? I have a somewhat similar situation. I am
33, and have no libido whatsoever, well, except for maybe four days a
month, other than that, there is nothing. I recently had some of my
hormones tested, and it was found I had a significant deficiency in
testosterone, which I have just began taking supplementation of.
I would advise you to ask for a complete hormonal work-up on your wife.
One more question, did your wife have her tubes tied by any chance after
the last child? Hope this helps some. Cheryl :o)
*****************************************************8
At Thu, 26 Aug 1999, betty wrote:
>
>Seeing no one has replied. Try the boards at http://www.pathfinder.com/ddrruth
>and http://www.parentsplace.com. You might find some good advice there. Go to
>these sites and look for the "boards". Let me know if you have trouble
>finding them.
>
> At Sun, 22 Aug 1999, Mark wrote:
>>
>>Please bear with me because this doesn't seem to fit the stereotype
>>usually associated with this. I'm also not sure my posting is welcome
>>here since this is a woman's forum.
>>My wife lost any libido she may have possessed 10 years ago with the
>>birth of our daughter (my wife was 32 at the time). Along with it,
>>interest in showing *any* affection, sexual or non-sexual, has also
>>disappeared. Prior to this, we had two years of warm, blissful
>>marriage.
>>I've asked her how she perceives the rest of the relationship and she
>>answers "great." When I asked her what she would change about me if she
>>could, she answered, "nothing."
>>For the last 4 years, she's been through counseling (actually, we both
>>have), depression therapy (she took Serazone for 2 years), and we're now
>>seeing a marriage counselor. The reason we waited so long to look for
>>help is we weren't really sure we could afford it. Now we can't afford
>>not to.
>>Anytime there is a sexual encounter, she is incapable of any arousal. In
>>fact, the whole experience has become something to avoid--she doesn't
>>get anything out of it; and I feel more like a rapist than a lover when
>>it's over. There's so many negative feelings, and more restrictions
>>than I care to mention.
>>I'm only 40 years old and am not looking forward to a life of married
>>celibacy. She is presently taking Estratest (has been for 2 months).
>>There is still no revival of any sexual interest; although there was one
>>time when she did have what she termed as a satisfying orgasm. But this
>>only happened after an hour of stimulation.
>>If this problem only pertained to the actual sex act itself, maybe it
>>would be bearable; but it invades every aspect of our lives. There is
>>no other sign of affection sought after, except maybe the occasional
>>hug. No kissing, no carressing, no sitting close, little conversation
>>(she's got her head crammed in a book most of the time), etc. Anything
>>on that order has to be initiated by me, and quite often is not welcome.
>>Yet she seems totally satisfied (other than our sexual incompatibility)
>>with the marriage.
>>
>>What do we do? Her doctor didn't think this was hormonal, but what else
>>could it be? She did respond a little to the Estratest. There's no
>>drive, but there was a satisfying orgasm (not that any attempt to
>>duplicate it has been sought).
>>By the way, I need to add that we've had another child 9 months ago. The
>>reason for this was so that my wife "could have something to enjoy in
>>this marriage" (her words, not mine). As a result, the gap has only
>>widened, since I've been shoved to the outermost part of her world due
>>to the fact that she's now breast-feeding and caring for a new-born.
>>
>>My question is: Is there a hormone treatment plan that works? Or, what
>>other alternatives do we have to restore some normalcy to this "business
>>arrangment" we call a marriage. It's like being married to your sister.
>>
>>Mark
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