Re: Loss of libido - a many layered problem
From: Angela (anonymous@obgyn.net)
Wed, 14 Oct 1998 17:48:37 -0500 (CDT)
Lea,
You are so right about many things you said, but there is always another
side to a problem, opinion, solution, and even life or death. I'm so
glad you are doing well and I will always wish this for every woman who
has to have some form of hysterectomy as a life saving, or pain
relieving surgery. My particular case tends to perhaps bias my opinion
of this surgery. I was told by the doctor I would die if I bled again
from a 4cm fibroid or at best need transfusion then surgery. I
requested in writing that my ovaries be left, but on day before surgery
as I was signing the papers and consent form it read "possible bilaterl
salphingo/oopherectomy (sp)". I refused to sign it as not what I
wanted. SHE said she wouldn't do surgery unless I did. She said if she
got in there and they were diseased it gave her permission to remove so
I wouldn't have to go into surgery again. Sounded reasonable, so I
agreed. BIG MISTAKE!!! Came out of surgery with nothing left. We
asked, me and hubby, why, got answers like cysts, adhesions, endo,would
have to come out in 5/10 years. I felt in my gut something was wrong!
Got pathology report and what a shock. The were healthy, each having
only a corpus leuteum (ovulated egg in progesterone state). No sign of
endo, adhesions, nothing. Hope this shows you the other side of this
surgery. Angela
At Wed, 14 Oct 1998, Lea wrote:
>
>I've been reading the threads and I've even replied a couple of times.
>This morning I realized that I had something else to say. I apologize
>in advance for the length but I just had to put in my $1.50.
>Coming face to face with the concrete reality of your own mortality is a
>highly traumatic thing to experience. You cannot expect to come through
>all the surgeries and treatments and whatever else the same person you
>were before. You are profoundly and forever changed. Some people are
>better able to adapt to these changes than other people. It doesn't
>mean one person is better or more right than the other - it just means
>we are all human and as humans we deal with stresses in various ways.
>Some people become more active, eat more, desire sexual relations more
>while others withdraw, eat less, lose their desire for sex. Some people
>want to talk through their problems while others try to bury it.
>Women face their mortality and limitations again and again through
>childbirth. The moment that child first kicks or takes it's first
>breath and utters it's first cry is the moment a woman realizes that
>life has a definite beginning and therefore a definite end. It's in
>that instant that we make the promises to guard that precious little
>life with our own. Women also face their mortality when confronted with
>things like breast cancer - heart disease - or any other serious illness
>that might befall us or our loved ones.
>There are many women who suffer the same loss of libido after childbirth
>- does that mean they never should have borne their children? That is as
>ridiculous as saying the woman who suffers loss of libido after
>life-saving surgery should have never had the surgery.
>Blankets are warm, soft, secure places to hide under but blanket
>statements can be cold, cruel and dangerous.
>Anyone who is confronted with the need for surgery, radiation or
>chemotherapy should be made aware of the very real fact that there will
>be emotional effects of treatment. They should be encouraged to seek
>some counseling - before, during and after treatment. Sometimes the
>emotional effects don't come until the urgency of the situation has
>passed. Just when everything seems to be under control the other shoe
>will drop and you'll find yourself experiencing anxiety attacks for no
>apparent reason, or perhaps you'll find that when you get the all clear
>from your doctor to resume your sex life that you really don't care,
>that sex with your spouse or significant other is the last thing on your
>mind. Sometimes there is a physiological reason, sometimes not, either
>way, it is a problem and a solution can usually be found. It is only as
>hopeless as you believe it is. Look within yourself and ask yourself
>the hard questions, be honest with yourself and answer them and move
>forward from there. Believe that life is worth living and work towards
>healing mind, body and spirit.
>
>BTW - I had my check up today 6 months post hysterectomy - I'm better
>than fine and feel great. Life is GOOD!
>
>--
>Lea
>
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