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Re: Just a little confused...postpartum.

From: Barbara (anonymous@obgyn.net)
Mon, 29 Jun 1998 08:54:34 -0500 (CDT)


Dear Dear Anne,

I am going to pretend I am sitting in the room with you and I am going to talk to you about this just you and me.

Anne, a doctor is a doctor is a dooctor! But he/she is Not a mind reader. You must tell your physician what you are going through or he/she will Not be able to help you with this problem, why? because you never told him/her! This is part of his/her job for taking care of your health You have to speak Up. You dear Anne are one of Many women that have or have had this happen to them. You write, "it is almost embarrassing to bring this up with my Dr". I ask you WHY? Please call the office and make an appointment today and go in a just talk.

You say: >I have enormous guilt with Savannah (2yr old)I feel like I am pushing
>her away when I send her to her playmates house for a few hours. And
>guilt for asking my friend to take her in the first place.

This is a "Normal Feeling" after birth of second child, everyone has felt it to some degree or another you are Not alone on this one.

You say: >The hubby is helpful as much as he can but he works 6 days >a week, 3-4 nights a week and is on ER call every other >week.

I say you are lucky if he is helpful at all! I know this is the 90's but men are men and women are women and we are the one be it 70's or 90's that are responsible for 90% of the childcare. Don't kid yourself for one minute on this one. I believe that every time a husband changes a diaper or makes a meal or whatever, he thinks "what a great help I am"! Remember a man is a man is a man! It's not in the hormones for them to want to jump up and do this kind of thing just because it's my job too. Most husbands are feeling a bit put out at this time at the loss of "life before baby #2" Jealous, I think it's called.

Now you say: >So I guess the bottom line is: How do I tell my doctor that >things are not going quite right,even though physically I >am doing great? Do I tell him that it seems like every day >is getting more difficult instead of getting easier, or >what?

YES, that's exactly what you tell the doctor!!! You are on the right track now. You know what is going on and you know it's not "You". You just say it in the same words you used here in your pppost. Your doctor will understand completly. Just remember one thing....We sometimes make "light" of things that are very important. We act as if it's not Really so bad...We even smile and want to make the doctor feel good...Do you know what that does? It is a waste of time for both of you...You Must tell your doctor the TRUTH! You are the Only one that knows how you feel so you are the only one that can do this.

Good Luck and keep us posted on the post office visit. That's my sermon for today Love Barbara

--
Barbara Nesbitt
Editor, Women's Health at OBGYN.net





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