WOMENS-HEALTH Messages for June, 1998: Re: SEVERE sexual phobia--PLEASE READ!!!

Re: SEVERE sexual phobia--PLEASE READ!!!

From: Marna (anonymous@obgyn.net)
Sun, 28 Jun 1998 11:53:33 -0700

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In reply to: Cindy: "SEVERE sexual phobia--PLEASE READ!!!"

Hi Cindy-

It sounds like you are going through a huge amount of stress right now. I am sorry you are experiencing this. When I was 18-20 I *knew* I never wanted children. I knew that being a mother was something that wasn't for me. I had two terminations prior to that because of stupidity, and like you I wanted my tubes tied. Having a pregnancy scare like that can throw one for a loop. It is a huge responsibility to bring another life into the world, and when you are ready for it, it is nice to be able to have a say in when that happens.

I married and then became pregnant and my whole view changed. I lost my twins, however I didn't lose the desire to have a child.

So what I think I will suggest to you, is that you seek out a therapist to talk to someone about your feelings. They are very real and genuine.

In the meantime, you can do some other things, that might take a bit of effort on your part, but it will help.

I see you are on the pill, and you know it's 99.999 or whatever effective against pregnancy, I see you are also using a backup method of birth control as well, so your chances of conceiving have lessened even more.

You can chart your temperatures every month to see if you are ovulating at all (which in the pill you are not) and this means each morning before you move, pee, drink, or talk, take your temperature and record it.

Also, go out and get the book "Taking Charge of Your Fertility" by Toni Weschler. She will explain to you how to read these charts.

I can understand your fiancée's frustration as well. I do not think you are going to find a competent MD out there who is going to sanction a tubligation at your age. 21 is just too young to make those kinds of decisions.

You may not want kids now, but you might later. And just to let you know, a tubal is about just as effective I think or maybe a scant more effective than the pill when the pill is taken properly.

I have managed tubaligation clients who had tubals and got pregnant. This happens.

Hang in.

--
Marna Engel
Doula/SN

-----Original Message-----
From: anonymous@obgyn.net [mailto:anonymous@obgyn.net Behalf
Of Cindy
Sent: Sunday, June 28, 1998 9:26 AM
To: Multiple recipients of list
Subject: SEVERE sexual phobia--PLEASE READ!!!

This may seems like a wierd post to some of you, but let me assure you
that it is true and sincere as they come.  Perhaps this may seem like
more of a psychological issue, but where issues of sexuality are
discussed so freely on this board, I feel that this may be a good
springing board for advice.

Next message: Marna: "Re: molar pregnancy?Please Help!"
Previous message: Jean: "What's with this CM???"
In reply to: Cindy: "SEVERE sexual phobia--PLEASE READ!!!"

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