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Re: SEVERE sexual phobia--PLEASE READ!!!From: Barbara (anonymous@obgyn.net)Sun, 28 Jun 1998 12:04:49 -0500 (CDT)
Dear Cindy, For the sake of space I am going to delete most of your post But I have read it and I Will remember what you wrote to us. Cindy, You, are going through a Tremendous time of being "Scared To Death"... You are right when you state you think its's a psychological problem...It Is, but remember a problem is a problem and this is a huge one for You.... Think for a moment, you are 21 years old, a student, recently engaged, and have just "thought " you were pregnant and not married... Your whole future or how you se it fell apart and why? Because of sexual intercourse... Remember, that's how a women gets pregnant in the first place. So the next thing that happened to you was your sub-conscious mind said, STOP the thing that is causing this fright. "Stop wanting sexual intercourse". It's simple to figure out but very difficult to stop the thought process as it is our deepest feeling and the one that governs our behavior. I know you know all of this and you don't need me to go over it again but I do want to let you know You are OK.. You will be OK... You tell us you have a dear loving boyfriend whom you intend to spend the rest of your life with and be his wife. This is wonderful, but now Cindy all you sub conscious can tell you is Every time you have Sex you Can get pregnant! Get Married mean get pregnant. Have normal sexual feelings means Get Pregnant! This is a vicious circle that will not end with out the following advice I am going to send your way. Get Help From a Professional.... You need a warm, caring, understanding therapist that deals with women's sexual problems. They are called Sex Therapists... These folks are trained to help you understand and work through problems like you are going through right now.. You are a decent, loving young women who is frightened out of her mind and you need someone to sit down with face to face to talk about your feelings. Someone that can help you get beyond this. I can understand your fear of women with babies in carriages...I would like to share something with you...My mother had her last baby at 45 and after I had my fourth child at 36 I was in Constant Fear that I would have another at her age! At 38 I had my tubes tied. Why? Because like you I became obsessed with fear of being pregnant. Perhaps a little different situation but remember Fear is Fear no matter what age you are. I hope you will find someone to go to and tell them exactly what you have told us and do Not Be Ashamed, just go for professional care before this fear robs you of One More Day of your wonderful future. Please stay with us as I'm sure the women on this forum will have lots of good sound advice to give you. But Most of all remember You will get beyond this and you will be OK again. Warmly, Barbara
-- Barbara Nesbitt Editor, Women's Health at OBGYN.net
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