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SEVERE sexual phobia--PLEASE READ!!!From: Cindy (anonymous@obgyn.net)Sun, 28 Jun 1998 11:25:32 -0500 (CDT)
This may seems like a wierd post to some of you, but let me assure you that it is true and sincere as they come. Perhaps this may seem like more of a psychological issue, but where issues of sexuality are discussed so freely on this board, I feel that this may be a good springing board for advice. I'm a 21 year old college student, in a 2-year-plus relationship with a wonderful 23-year-old man. Up until recently, we have enjoyed a great love life, until a few months ago a preg. scare sent me to the dr. for a (thankfully) negative blood test and a perscription for the pill. You would think that this would make me more reassured, but in fact it has made me more anxious about sex--I constantly worry, "What if I'm that one percent it fails? Is it strong enough (I'm on the 20 mcg dose, doc refused to put me on a stronger dose because of my age)?, and every month I stress over wiether my period is something to worry about or not (I got on the internet recently and saw lots of stories about women who didn't know that they were pregnant because they still had periods, and so every month I get extrememly nervous, analyzing every drop of blood to make sure that it is the same amount--which on the pill, rarely is.) I saw a post on here a few days ago about that subject, and it reminded me of this. I've been almost fanatic about taking my pills, not missed any, but yet I can't help but to fret day in and day out. I've even got so worried before that I developed psychosamatic (sp.) symptoms--one month, got another test because of nausea and freqent urination, but it was neg....as soon as I stopped worrying for awhile, the symptoms went away, and I had my period a couple of weeks later,only to start worrying again. We've used condoms with the pill, but even then I can't stop worrying. As you might expect, this is driving my now fiancee nuts, as I obsess.We've not had sex for some time now. I have even tried to arrange to get my tubes tied, but no doctor I have spoken to will do this procedure on someone my age, even though I am SURE that I don't want kids. Everytime I see a mother and a young child since that scare, I want to run to a corner and cry, for some reason absolutely terrified at the sight. I can't even stand a man noticing me on the street--I just don't want to be sexual at all. Since I will be married soon, I can't just be celebate as a nun!! I care tremendously for my fiancee, and don't want to hurt him--or me. Again, this may be more of a psychological problem, but many of you on this board seem to be caring and knowedgable, and so I'd like to ask for any advice or feed back that you can provide. Thanks!
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