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Re: Hurt by Gyn - any advice?From: AnnMarie (anonymous@obgyn.net)Thu, 19 Feb 1998 12:28:21 -0600 (CST)
At Thu, 19 Feb 1998, Kimberly wrote: > >Hi, > >I had a question that I hoped someone on here could answer for me. >Though it is not directly pertaining to a medical condition or problem, >I thought it was acceptable to ask here since it does have to do with >Gyn and women's health issues in general... > >I know someone (also in MA) who was raped by her gynecologist on her >second visit to the doctor. The incident took place in May of 1995, so >it's a bit under three years ago. She did not report it, and this >particular doctor shared an office with another doctor of hers that she >had seen for many years (an internist). (She found out afterwards from >a physician that was a friend of hers that this did happen on a lesser >scale to some other individuals by this same doctor, a little before it >happened to her. They also did not report it.) > >The problem is this - She has currently has to see her internist >frequently, and feels very upset when she goes because she sees the dr >when she comes into the waiting rm and the doctor sometimes stares at >her momentarily or glances at her and smiles. She does not want to stop >seeing the internist, but going to that office is very upsetting. >Sometimes she feels she is overreacting...but maybe its a normal >reaction from the stress of what happened? > >So what she wants to know is this - Is there anything she can do about >it? What would others do in her situation? She really does not wish to >involved in court or anything else like that but regrets not doing >anything and thinking it could happen to someone else...but has no idea >who to talk to or what to say. > >I'll print any replies I get out for her, and thanking you for your >time. > >-- >Kimberly > Kimberly, you are a great friend. I can see that your friend trusts you very much. Please tell her that she needs to report this doctor--To Anyone! She could talk to the police, another trusted and well-respected doctor, the State Department of Professional Regulation or other agency, or a rape center. I had a bad doctor a couple years ago and she was reported to the state Dept of Prof. Regulation. Last I heard the criminal investigation was pending, but that same doctor was already gone to prison last summer on a different felony charge. I heard more stories of this same doctor from my daughter's pediatrician of all people, and he had been a patient once himself many years ago, he said. After that one visit he found a new doctor. I was sexually abused by people I looked up to and trusted several years ago. One person was a neighbor across the street. He was an elderly, well trusted and respected man and friend of the family, perhaps "adopted" into our family, for about 40-some years. After that scarey night, I found it very hard to be around him, let alone the same neighborhood. I felt awful if I was sent to see him for something all alone. I should never have gone alone after that, but I felt that I had no choice. This I am ashamed to admit, but I told my mother about what happened. She discounted what happened and forbade me to tell my father. If I had, I can only imagine what he might have done. Not taking something for what it really is can be very depressing. One can lose trust, self-esteem and respect. It's very hard when you can't (or won't) tell someone. Eventually in one way or another it hurts everyone. After four years of marriage, I was able to tell my husband. I still don't like to talk about it, and try to limit my conversations. This sort of thing is nothing to be ashamed of, but it's hard not to. Your friend needs support in making the right decision. Please help guide her. Go with her if needed to report this doctor in question. He needs to be stopped!
-- ~~ AnnMarie
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