WOMENS-HEALTH Messages for December, 1997: HUMOR

HUMOR

From: AnnMarie (anonymous@obgyn.net)
Thu, 11 Dec 1997 15:41:13 -0600

~~ Signs ~~ Sign on an electrician's truck: "Let Us Remove Your Shorts."

Sign outside a radiator repair shop in a small midwestern town: "Best Place in Town to Take a Leak."

Sign on the door of the maternity ward: "Push Push Push."

Sign at entrance of the IRS: "Watch your step."

Sign at the exit of the IRS: "Watch your mouth."

Sign on a front door: "Everyone on the premises is a vegetarian except the dog."

Sign on a scientist's door: "Gone fission."

Sign on used car lot: "Second hand cars in first crash condition."

Sign on fence: "Salesmen welcome. Dog food is expensive."

Sign over a cannibal's hut: "I never met a man I didn't like."

Sign at a hotel. "Help! We need inn-experienced people."

Sign in a science teacher's room: "If it moves, it's biology. If it stinks, it's chemistry. If it doesn't work, it's physics."

Sign on auto body shop: "May we have the next dents?"

Sign at the dry cleaner's window: "Drop your pants here."

Sign on a parking space at a garden nursery: "Reserved for plant manager."

Sign on a door to a psychiatric ward: "Please do not disturb further."

Sign on music teachers' door: "Out Chopin."

Sign at the electic company: "We would be delighted if you send in your bill. However, if you don't, you will be."

Sign on a garbage truck: "We've got what it takes to take what you've got."

Sign at a computer store: "Out for a quick byte."

Sign on restaurant window: "Don't stand there and be hungry. Come in and get fed up."

Sign for a litter of dachshund pups: "Get a `long` little doggie!"

Sign in a cafeteria: "Shoes are required to eat in the cafeteria. In pencil beneath the sign: Socks can eat anyplace they want."

Sign on a music library's door: "Bach in a minuet."

Sign on the inside of a bathroom stall: "Beware of limbo dancers."

A hardware store in Oregon has a sign that reads: "Today's special. Below it says: So's tomorrow."

Sign on restaurant window: "Great food (50,000 flies can't be wrong)."

Billboard facing the road in front of a funeral home: "Drive carefully. We'll wait."

Sign in school: "In case of atomic attack, the federal ruling concerning prayer in this building will be temporarily suspended."

Office sign: "Ace exterminating - we kill bugs dead, walk-ins welcome."

Sign at a garden shop: "We now have kricket krap!"

Sign on a government issue car: "Fulton county disaster coordinator

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