WOMENS-HEALTH Messages for December, 1997: HUMOR: Christmas for Moms

HUMOR: Christmas for Moms

From: AnnMarie (anonymous@obgyn.net)
Fri, 5 Dec 1997 10:44:04 -0600

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> > TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS (for Moms)
> >
> > 'Twas the night before Christmas, when all thru the abode
> > only one creature was stirring, and she was cleaning the commode.
> > The children were finally sleeping, all snug in their beds,
> > while visions of Nintendo 64 and Barbie, flipped through their
heads. > > The dad was snoring in front of the TV,
> > with a half-constructed bicycle on his knee.
> > So only the mom heard the reindeer hooves clatter,
> > which made her sigh, "Now what's the matter?"
> > With toilet bowl brush still clutched in her hand,
> > she descended the stairs, and saw the old man.
> > He was covered with ashes and soot, which fell with a shrug.
> > "Oh great," muttered the mom, "Now I have to clean the rug."
> > "Ho-ho-ho!" cried Santa, "I'm glad you're awake."
> > "Your gift was especially difficult to make."
> > "Thanks, Santa, but all I want is some time alone."
> > "Exactly!" he chuckled, "I've made you a clone."
> > "A clone?" she asked, "What good is that?
> > Run along, Santa, I've no time for chit-chat."
> > The mother's twin. Same hair, same eyes,
> > same double chin. "She'll cook, she'll dust, "
> > she'll mop every mess. You'll relax, take it easy,
> > watch The Young & the Restless." "Fantastic!" the mom cheered.
> > "My dream come true! "I'll shop. I'll read., I'll sleep a whole
night > > through! "
> > From the room above, the youngest began to fret.
> > "Mommy?! I scared... and I 'm wet."
> > The clone replied, "I'm coming, sweetheart."
> > "Hey," the mom smiled, "She knows her part."
> > The clone changed the small one, and hummed a tune,
> > as she bundled the child, in a blanket cocoon.
> > "You the best mommy ever. " I really love you."
> > The clone smiled and sighed, "I love you, too."
> > The mom frowned and said, "Sorry, Santa, no deal. "
> > That's my child's love, she's trying to steal."
> > Smiling wisely Santa said, "To me it is clear, "
> > Only one loving mother, is needed here."
> > The mom kissed her child, and tucked her into bed.
> > "Thank you, Santa, " for clearing my head.
> > I sometimes forget, it won't be very long,
> > when they'll be too old, for my cradle-song."
> > The clock on the mantle began to chime.
> > Santa whispered to the clone, "It works every time."
> > With the clone by his side Santa said, "Goodnight.
> > Merry Christmas, Mom, You'll be all right."

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