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JOKES
From: AnnMarie (anonymous@obgyn.net)
Thu, 13 Nov 1997 09:32:15 -0600
> GREAT QUOTES OF MEN, WOMEN & RELATIONSHIPS
> (A few are slightly risque, but very funny and
true)
> ******************************************************
>
>When a man goes on a date he wonders if he is going to get lucky.
>A woman already knows.
> -- Frederick Ryder
>
>Men get laid, but women get screwed.
> -- Quentin Crisp (English writer)
>
>Women need a reason to have sex -- men just need a place.
> -- Billy Crystal.
>
>I love the lines the men use to get us into bed. "Please, I'll only put
>
>it in for a minute." What am I, a microwave?
> -- Beverly Mickins (American comedienne)
>
>Do you know why the Lord withheld the sense of humor from women?
>So that we may love you instead of laugh at you.
> -- Mrs. Patrick Campbell (English actress)
>
>A woman's appetite is twice that of a man's;
>her sexual desire, four times; her intelligence, eight times.
> -- Sanskrit proverb
>
>There's very little advice in men's magazines,
>because men don't think there's a lot they don't know.
> Women do. Women want to learn.
> Men think, "I know what I'm doing, just show me somebody naked."
> -- Jerry Seinfeld
>
>March isn't the only thing that's in like a lion, out like a lamb.
> -- Anonymous
>
>Women still remember the first kiss after men have forgotten the last.
> -- Remy de Gourmant (French writer)
>
>A man loses his sense of direction after four drinks;
>a woman loses hers after four kisses.
> -- H.L. Mencken (American writer, 1888-1956)
>
>When women hold off from marrying men, we call it independence.
>When men hold off from marrying women, we call it fear of commitment.
> -- Warren Farrell (American Psychologist)
>
>Only two things are necessary to keep one's wife happy. One is to let
>her
>think she is having her own way, and the other is to let her have it.
> -- Lyndon B. Johnson
>
>Why get married and make one man miserable
>when I can stay single and make thousands miserable?
> -- Carrie Snow
>
ON A PERSONAL NOTE, IF I MAY: Some of you are on my joke email list.
Please contact me if you haven't received anything yet this week and should
have. Thanks. : )
~~ Ann
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