WOMENS-HEALTH Messages for October, 1997: more Halloween JOKES!!

more Halloween JOKES!!

From: AnnMarie (anonymous@obgyn.net)
Tue, 28 Oct 1997 09:47:29 +0000

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20 Ways to Confuse Trick-or-Treaters

~~1~~ Give away something other than candy (Toothpicks, golf balls, bags of sand, etc.).

~~2~~ Wait behind the door until some people come. When they get near the door, jump out, wearing a costume, and holding a bag, and yell, "Trick or Treat!" Look at them, scratch your head, and act confused.

~~3~~ Fill a briefcase with marbles and crackers. Write on it, "Top Secret" in big letters. When trick-or-treaters come, look around suspiciously, say, "It's about time you got here," give them the briefcase, and quickly shut the door.

~~4~~ Get about 30 people to wait in your living room. When trick-or-treaters come to the door, say, "Come in." When they do, have everyone yell, "Surprise!!!" Act like it's a surprise party.

~~5~~ Get everyone who comes to the door to come in and see if they can figure out what's wrong with your dishwasher. Insist that it makes an unnatural "whirring" sound.

~~6~~ After you give them candy, hand the trick-or-treaters a bill.

~~7~~ Open the door dressed as a giant fish. Immediately collapse, and don't move or say anything until the trick-or-treaters go away.

~~8~~ When you answer the door, hold up one candybar, throw it out into the street, and yell, "Crawl for it!"

~~9~~ When you answer the door, look at the trick-or-treaters, act shocked and scared, and start screaming your head off. Slam the door and runaround the house, screaming until they go away.

~~10~~ Insist that the trick-or-treaters each do ten push-ups before you give them any candy.

~~11~~ Hand out menus to the trick-or-treaters and let them order their candy. Keep asking if anyone wants to see the wine list.

~~12~~ Get a catapult. Sit on your porch and catapult pumpkins at anyone who comes within 50 yards of your house.

~~13~~ When people come to the door, jump out a nearby window, crashing through the glass, and run as far away from your house as you can.

~~14~~ Answer the door dressed as a pilgrim. Stare at the trick-or-treaters for a moment, pretend to be confused, and start flipping through a calendar.

~~15~~ Instead of candy, give away colored eggs. If anyone protests, explain that the eggs are the only thing you had left over from Easter.

~~16~~ Answer the door dressed as a dentist. Angrily give the trick-or-treaters a two-hour lecture on tooth decay.

~~17~~ Answer the door with a mouthful of M & M's and several half-eaten candy bars in your hands. Act surprised, and close the door. Open it again in a few seconds, and insist that you don't have any candy.

~~18~~ Hand out cigarettes and bottles of asprin.

~~19~~ Put a crown on a pumpkin and put the pumpkin on a throne on your porch. Insist that all of the trick-or-treaters bow before The Great Pumpkin.

~~20~~ Dress up like a bunny rabbit. Yell and curse from the moment you open the door, and angrily throw the candy at the trick-or-treaters. Slam the door when you're finished. ~~~ AnnMarie Walsh

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