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JOKES: Fun w/Med Records From: AnnMarie (anonymous@obgyn.net) Fri, 26 Sep 1997 10:39:16 +0000 Messages sorted by: [ date ][ thread ][ subject ][ author ] Next message: terry: "Re: No Periods" Previous message: Marcia: "Re: Temps and Progesterone" The following quotes were taken from actual medical records dictated by physicians. They appeared in a column written by Richard Lederer, Ph.D. for the Journal of Court Reporting. These and other language gems will be featured in Lederer's new book - Fractured English, to be published by Pocket Books in the fall of 1997. By the time he was admitted, his rapid heart had stopped and he was feeling better. Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year. On the second day the knee was better and on the third day it had completely disappeared. She has had no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night. The patient has been depressed ever since she began seeing me in 1983. Patient was released to outpatient department without dressing. The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed. Discharge status: Alive but without permission. The patient will need disposition, and therefore we will get Dr. Blank to dispose of him. Healthy-appearing, decrepit 69 year old male, mentally alert but forgetful. The patient refused an autopsy. The patient has no past history of suicides. The patient expired on the floor uneventfully. Patient has left his white blood cells at another hospital. Patient was becoming more demented with urinary frequency. The patient's past medical history has been remarkably insignificant with only a 40 pound weight gain in the past three days. She slipped on the ice and apparently her legs went in separate directions in early December. The patient left the hospital feeling much better except for her original complaints. Next message: terry: "Re: No Periods" Previous message: Marcia: "Re: Temps and Progesterone"

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