WOMENS-HEALTH Messages for September, 1997: Re: Joke

Re: Joke - Mammogram

From: Kelly (anonymous@obgyn.net)
Thu, 25 Sep 1997 13:54:44 -0500 (CDT)

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In reply to: anonymous@obgyn.net: "Joke - Mammogram"

>MAMMOGRAM
>-----------------------
>
>-----------------------
>This is an X-ray that has its own name because no one wants to actually sy
>-----------------------
>the word breast.
>
>Mammograms require your breast to do gymnastics. If you have extremely agile
>breasts, you should do fine. Most breasts, however, pretty much hang around
>doing nothing in particular, so they are woefully unprepared.
>
>But you can prepare for a mammogram right at home using these simple
>exercises:
>
>Exercise 1: Refrigerate two bookends overnight. Lay one of your breasts
>(either will do) between the two bookends and smash the bookends together as
>hard as you can. Repeat three times daily.
>
>Exercise 2: Locate a pasta maker or old wringer washer. Feed the breasts into
>the machine and start cranking. Repeat twice daily.
>
>Exercise 3: (Advanced) Situate yourself comfortably on your side on the
>garage floor. Place one of your breasts snugly begind the rear tire of the
>family van. When you give the signal, hubby will slowly ease the car into
>reverse. Hold for 5 seconds. Repeat on the other side.

ROTFLOL.

Having not yet reached the age where I need to have mammograms, I will keep this for future reference. How far ahead of the "breast x-ray" should I start doing these?

-- Kelly Shanahan, MD, FACOG S. Lake Tahoe, CA

note: Opinions here are for educational purposes only. This information is not intended to supplant the need for you to consult with your own physician. It cannot take the place of a face to face consultation and examination.

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