WOMENS-HEALTH Messages for September, 1997: Re: Breast Cancer: I Am Your Sister, for Sherry

Re: Breast Cancer: I Am Your Sister, for Sherry

From: Sherry (anonymous@obgyn.net)
Wed, 17 Sep 1997 12:45:17 -0500 (CDT)

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At Wed, 17 Sep 1997, Barbara wrote: >
>>Hi Barbara Nesbitt
>>
>>This is my first time to send a message to this site so I
>>hope this is right.
>
>Welcome Sherry,
>
> I read your response to Brenda and
>>wanted to see if you could help me. My mom and I are best
>>friends - and now she has been diagonsed with brest cancer.
>>She had a mastectomy 3 weeks ago and is doing fantastic.
>
>I am happy to hear she is doing so well post surgery.
>
>>She wanted a reconstruction done at the same time, however,
>>they could not do that because they found more cancer than
>>suspected.
>
>This is normal procedure in this type of situation. I am very sorry to
>hear you say it was more invasive then expected. This is not uncommon
>as breast cancer is a sneaky beast and hard to figure out till you get
>into the surgery.
>>She has never smoked - always in great shape - exercises
>>just everything she shouldn't be
>
>Unfortunatly is seem to attack anyone good or bad healty or not. but
>the following "stress thing" hits home with me.
>
>>expept she did lose my oldest >brother when 8 years ago he >was riding his bike (33 yrs. old)
>>and an 18 wheeler truck took a wrong turn and ran over him leaving>a wife a three young kids behind. Needless to say, >this created>extreme stress in her life (divorced for over >20 years).
>
>I will always be a FIRM beliver that Stress is a contributing factor in
>cancer of Any type. Though this can't be listed as an absolute it has
>been seen by enough physicians that many of them believe it! I could say
>most but I can only truthfuly go by the ones I know or what I have read.
>Some physicians believe it takes 7 years for Breast Cancer to grow to a
>significent size and this certainly would fit in wih your poor mon's
>history with the loss of your brother in such a tragic way. Our imunne
>system is comprimized therefore "thrown out of wack" by emotional
>upsets, "Horrible Life Experiences" and then it is believed and by me,
>that cancer cells take over and do there dastardly deeds...
>>
>>You may not need to know all that ... sorry ... my mom and I are >best friends and I am crushed !
>
>Sherry she is blessed to have you and your love.
>
>>She has a terrific doctor in Huntsville, AL - she will see the >oncologist Weds. Sept 24 to find out more details but as it>stands - they will do chemo as you stated every 3 weeks and >follow up with radiation - she is in Huntsville - I am in Nashville
>
>Thats the way to go and she is in good hands. Remember good doctors
>refer to other good doctors, so her radiologist and oncologist are of
>the same caliber as her surgeon.
>
>>Will she be able to function in Huntsville after treatment - I >know you said it depends on the individual - she is >very strong>mentally and physically. Should I be concerned >about the distance They can do chemo on Fridays - how long >after that are you sick?
>
>Okay Shelly here's the big one! Remember this is Me talking and only
>Me...She will need someone faithful to drive her to her chemo treatments
>and then home again. She may feel wonderful But she will feel
>frieghtened. I did and I'm strong as a horse. The oncologists office
>and all those terribly sick people scared the living hell out of me. So
>for her mental health alone she needs company while there.
>
>After the first chemo her white blood count Could drop way down, (chills
>exhausted ect.) and again she could have No problems. I had this the
>first time Only. She'll need a combined blood count one week After the
>first treatment to see how she is doing. I stayed at my daughters home
>and was treated like a "queen" and so I can't tell you how I would have
>done Alone. If Mom lives alone that's a different story. Is there
>someone that can stay a few days with her till she is up and around? I
>flew to Austin to work in between chemo treatments and then back to
>Dallas the day before for a few days then off again.
>
>A possible idea for the Radiation, which takes 5-6 weeks 5 days a week
>and one gets Very tired towards the end, (I did), is to have it done in
>Your Home Town and have her stay with you! Her physician could arrange
>this ahead of time.
>
>>What is the cure rate for this type of progressed cancer... >they>found it in her lymph nodes under her arm however, her >liver enzymes>and bone scan were clear...
>
>I know gals with Stage 4 (you didn't tell us her stage) that have been
>around for many years. Sherry this damn thing is a Crap Shoot...You
>give it your best shot and keep having follow up exams and mammograms
>and TRY to put the fears behind you and find a way to live your life. It
>takes awhile to do this but the sooner one can the better. Listen to
>her Don't talk to her. There's a big difference here breetwen the two.
>She needs to Talk..Everyone I know that has had BC including myself has
>a new outlook on life, "we don't sweat the small things" we don't always
>have the patience for trivial things and we Never want to hear bad news,
>(or just about Any television news for that matter) maybe we've heard
>enough bad news already. We begin to appreicate being alive and we have
>a deeper love for our family and friends,. This is a Plus as far as I'm
>concerned.
>
>> my sister in law here in Nashville is freaking me out >because she says "bring your mom here for >her>last days"... >I refuse to think that way ... there is a >fighting>chance >- right ?
>
>OK, lets get to sister-in-law first; she loves your mom But this
>freaking out bit will Not help you Or your Mom. She is afraid of
>loosing her after what happened to her husband this is a Normal selfish
>reaction.. What will happen to me!! She has to become strong for you
>and your Mom, talk to her or have someone else talk to her. No-One know
>s how long Anyone is going to live, PERIOD!!! Your Mom needs your
>support and strengh from Now On. If everyone thinks she's going to die
>I guess that's all she has left to think about...HOPE, Good Treatment,
>Prayers, Loving Family Support are what she needs and she can live a
>Long Time. Remember your poor brothers life was cut short and none
>expected that, so lets not count Mom out.
>
>>I am scared and want to have armor to fight>this with ! >Any advice ? Was your breast cancer this severe ?
>
>No, but is was very fast growing and very aggressive. If your Mom is
>comfortalbe with her physicians and it sounds like she is that is
>wonderful. Support her with her choices and decisions as this is very
>important. We don't need to be justifing our choice of treament or
>choice of physician to everyone in the world!
>
>And on a final note if there is Anyone around her that is not suppotive
>Keep Them Away!!
>
>Keep me informed and write any time off-list if you want too.
>
>Love ,
>Barbara
>
>--
>Barbara Nesbitt, Co-Moderater
>Women's Health Forum
>OBGYN.net
>

--
Hi ! You are so kind to respond so quickly. I can not tell you how much that meant to me! This note will not be as lenghty I promise. My concern is that my mom does live alone
in Huntsville - she has a "friend" that is very attentive and will be there for her. I can go down on Fridays and take her to and from Chemo treatments - stay the weekend with but more than likely will have to be back at work on Monday. My family can take turns making the trip.
If she has treatment here in Nashville she can stay here and the family can attend to her every need. She wants to stay in her own bed
her own space - I memtioned that I would pay for a nurse to watch out for her needs if she was so adament about staying in Huntsville. I think she wants to be near her broad shouldered "friend" to lean on
I understand - he can comfort her in ways I can not however, I do want her near to "spoil" and I admit .. I wouldn't worry as much. I am sorry I wasn't clear in my message earlier - I have one living brother here in Nashville
along with a sister in law and 3 kids - she is the one freaking out - my brother that passed aways wife has remarried and lives in Mobile AL - my mom is still very close to her and her new faimly. My sister in law and brother living here want
my mom to stay with them so Sharon (my sis-in-law) who doesn't work can take care of her. AS you can see my concern is that she is in Huntsville without immediatly family but with lots of loving friends. Good greif this is driving me damn crazy - what's best for her.
Once she begins treatment doesn't she need to finish out that treatment with that paticular doctor ? Last question.. where can I check on her physician's background .. ?

Next message: Sherry: "Re: Breast Cancer: I Am Your Sister, for Sherry"
Previous message: AnnMarie: "Me again w/a ?"
In reply to: Barbara: "Re: Breast Cancer: I Am Your Sister, for Sherry"
Next in thread: Sherry: "Re: Breast Cancer: I Am Your Sister, for Sherry"

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