WOMENS-HEALTH Messages for April, 1997: Re: coping with repeated miscarriage

Re: coping with repeated miscarriage

From: anonymous@obgyn.net
Fri, 18 Apr 1997 12:14:06 -0500 (CDT)

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In reply to: Kelly: "coping with repeated miscarriage"

Kelly, when I read your email yesterday I found myself in tears. I thought of responding, but since I didn't have any first hand experience, I thought I wouldn't help. But last evening I was driving somewhere and I was trying to think of what would give me courage to keep trying. All I could think of was a friend's mother who suffered nine miscarriages but then had 3 wonderful children (one of those being my friend). Obviously I didn't know this information for a long time after knowing my friend & her mother--and in thinking about your email yesterday I realized that she must have once had this same pain but still went on. I think the joy that came later helped soothe the pain from nine losses. And, I'm glad she had the courage to keep trying because she brought 3 great people into the world and enriched her own & so many lives.

Personally, I've found that courage is something you find you have only in retrospect. You take it day by day-just keep getting up in the morning, doing what you need to do, and somewhere along the way you find that you feel a little better--and that you've been courageous. (Enjoying that beautiful Tahoe wilderness can't hurt--I'm a SF native and Tahoe is a favorite for hiking, skiing, and reminding myself of the grandeur that life has to offer).

Last, I want to say that I'm writing as someone you have personally responded to and helped with your great skill, wisdom, & caring advice via this forum, so I'm living proof that you are a success! I'll be sending positive thoughts to you from a bit further west.

At Thu, 17 Apr 1997, Kelly wrote: >
>I'm writing today not in my capacity as a doctor who frequently tries to
>answer your questions, but as a woman seeking answers.
>I found out yesterday that I am losing my second consecutive pregnancy
>early in the first trimester. It never felt right from the beginning.
>My question to those of you who have been through this is, how do you
>cope? How do you get the courage to try again? I'm not sure I want to go
>throught the whole work up for repetative miscarriage (I'm 36, on Clomid
>to ovulate and my husband's 41, so we don't have a heck of a lot of time
>to waste) and then have all my hopes and dreams dashed again. Right now
>all I really want to do is crawl under a rock and never come out. I
>feel like I'm a complete failure as a woman
>Thanks
>
>Kelly

Next message: Karen: "Ovarian cyst/dermoid"
Previous message: Pat: "Re: weight gain and pregnancy"
In reply to: Kelly: "coping with repeated miscarriage"

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