WOMENS-HEALTH Messages for April, 1997: Re: coping with repeated miscarriage

Re: coping with repeated miscarriage

From: anonymous@obgyn.net
Thu, 17 Apr 97 17:37:06 -0400

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In <199704171807.NAA00439@talk.obgyn.net>, on 04/17/97 at 01:07 PM, mks@sierra.net (Kelly Shanahan) said:

First let me say how very sorry I am that you are losing your child. As a mom and a health care provider myself I can tell you it's not that easy. I have lost 2 in early miscarriage and like you said "something didn't feel right".

|I'm writing today not in my capacity as a doctor who frequently tries to
|answer your questions, but as a woman seeking answers.
|I found out yesterday that I am losing my second consecutive pregnancy
|early in the first trimester. It never felt right from the beginning. My
|question to those of you who have been through this is, how do you cope?

Cope? MMM how does anyone cope? A day at a time. You must go through the grieving process and to be allowed to go through that process and remember you will be going through it. And when you do surrond yourself with supportive people. Family friends that love you and that you can reach out to them. Mourn, you are mourning someone you will never know and the grief is the same as a mother who lost to stillbirth. Please take time to grieve. You can be a doctor any time but you are a woman and as a woman you are allowed this time of sorrow. sometimes us HEALTH care people forget we are human.

|How do you get the courage to try again? I'm not sure I want to go
|throught the whole work up for repetative miscarriage (I'm 36, on Clomid

You can not really for sure think about it right know. I did ask myself after waiting a whole month to miscarry naturally cause my D&C screwed me up bad the last time. Courage... I don't know but I love kids and I know I want them. That keeps me going. But there is a time in your life that you have to revaluate your goals and why you want kids?

I'm a complete failure as a woman

Well first.. YOUR NOT.. you are right about one thing.. you are a woman and you are human... I am sorry you are hurting but you as a person are wonderful. Who else would put themselves through this? Certainly not someone who doesn't want or have the love for kids :).... Honey we all feel in someway that we have failed... failed our spouses and our family and ourselves but who are you? Think about it.. but right know grieve

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Michael and Monique Bride <<The Brides for Life>> Kingston ON --------------------------------------------------------------------------------- --------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

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In reply to: Kelly: "coping with repeated miscarriage"
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