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Re: Helping The Doctors IT'S OUR TURNFrom: anonymous@obgyn.netWed, 16 Apr 1997 19:36:51 -0400 (EDT)
I saw this topic and couln't pass it up! I have a wonderful OB-GYN, but unfortunately I haven't gotten him to the OBGYN.net site. I mentioned it at my last appointment and he was just getting internet access, so I'm going to keep at it...I know he'd be able to contribute and would be an asset to the forum (both medical and womens sides)! I've never had the opportunity to select a female OB-GYN, so I can't say I would prefer male or female and I don't think gender really matters. What matters most to me is how a doctor relates to me, his or her willingness to answer questions and provide guidance, and the general sense of trust and knowledge I feel while in his/her care. I had a scheduled c-section, but my son didn't want to wait that long and my OB was not on call when I went into labor. The doctor who WAS on call was a female, so I do have very limited experience. Granted, we had never met, but I didn't get a good feeling about her from the beginning. She had kind of a condescending attitude and basically questioned my knowledge of my situation and didn't believe my answers. By the time I got to the OR (6 hours later...due to backlog!), she was still on call and I guess was pretty tired of the rush of c-sections that day. My husband said she was nice and talked to him out in the hall, but she never once even looked in my direction while in the OR. She conversed with the other physicians and the staff but didn't even say hello to me...it wasn't a pleasant situation! Thankfully, I had a wonderful anesthesiologist who provided support, encouragement, and a detailed account of each step of the operation. He was the one very kind, very human aspect to the whole experience! I will not let my one and only experience color my perspective, though, as I know she was one individual...just like a male doctor is. Each person and each circumstance is unique. But getting back to my own OB-GYN...he's wonderful!!! The first time I met him was at my first OB appointment after finding out I was pregnant. He instantly put my husband and me at ease and was very warm and caring. During my pregnancy, I developed gestational diabetes, so the risks went up with my pregnancy and he was there every step of the way. He always took the time to answer any questions that I had and he spent a lot of time explaining the possible risks and complications. We often felt guilty because we DIDN'T have any questions for him! He never made us feel rushed (and this was predominantly an HMO-type situation :-)) and encouraged us to discuss anything and everything with him. I have never felt so comfortable with anyone before. Pregnancy is such an incredible time and you can develop such a wonderful rapport with a physician because you have the opportunity to see an OB much more often than with any other physician. As a true sign of how much this man really cared, he was on call the day I was discharged, so he was the one to sign the papers. I was looking forward to seeing him and the surprised look on his face when he saw me...he came in the room and sat down on my bed and said "I sure didn't expect to see you here yet!" and went on to talk to me...then he took my hand in his and looked at me and said "I'm so happy for you and glad that everything worked out so well". It was a moment I'll never forget. It was so touching and at that point I felt much more like a friend than a patient. And that to me is the epitomy of a doctor/patient relationship! I will continue to see him for all my OB-GYN needs and I just pray he never leaves San Diego (but then, why would ANYONE leave San Diego!). He was just as warm, friendly, and caring at my annual exam and when I broached the subject of VBACs and uterine ruptures, he took the time, once again, to discuss the options. He looked at me at said, "well, we're going to have this discussion at some point, so we might as well start now!" and he went on to share his VBAC rate, his lamentations of how new med students don't get proper training on the use of forceps, and how small the chances of uterine rupture really were and how prepared he was to deal with it. He also explained the circumstances under which he would or wouldn't attempt VBAC but said, bottom-line that it was MY choice. My kinda guy! Now....if I could just get him online and part of this wonderful forum..... Darcy Johnson
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