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Re: Helping The Doctors IT'S OUR TURN

From: anonymous@obgyn.net
Tue, 15 Apr 1997 08:16:41 -0400 (EDT)


In a message dated 97-04-14 21:47:29 EDT, you write:

<< There is a current trend in hiring women Ob/Gyn's over men because it is perceived that is what the public wants. While I am glad to see more women entering this (or any) field I am never happy to see reverse descrimination. ...snip..

(1) Couldn't care less about the sex of their doctor. (2) Perfer a male doctor. (3) Have just had a really good experience with a male Ob/Gyn. >>

Roberta, I am so glad you brought this topic to this list, as I have been reading it on the doc's list. Due to a complicated reproductive history (and due to my husband's military job transfers) I've seen several male and female docs in the past 8 years. My better experiences have been with male OB/'GYNs--we seem to have a better rapport. I've also had many good male friends, and those friendships have lasted many years.

My first OB/GYN (now deceased) was my mother's doctor. He was a gruff old guy, but I really liked him. He scared many other women but his office was always full. I began seeing him as a teenager as I am a DES daughter. He was a gourmet cook and would do a pelvic while telling about his most recent kitchen conquest. I appreciated the distraction! He would also find a way to ask if I wanted to discuss birth control and always assured me that he wouldn't tell my mother. ;-)

I'd love to move back to San Diego, just to see the male OB/GYN who started our primary infertility workup and eventually delivered my daughter. He was always on top of things and my questions were never too petty. Even when I'd just want to ask the nurse the questions, he would get on the phone. (Our relationship was so good that when I later found that I'd been given Flagyl for someone else's infection. I didn't have an infection. As miserable as the drug was, I had no desire to be angry at him. A page from some else's record was slipped into mine...)

When I began my secondary infertility workup, I started with a female OB/GYN who was willing to speed through the HSG and post-coital, but was unwilling to do basic hormonal bloodwork. We just didn't connect--a point that was made obvious by the notes she made in the chart. (As a fertility patient, I have an almost-complete copy of my medical record).

I was briefly an OB patient in a 2 male, 2 female group in Long Beach, but I never warmed up to any of them. They had a general practice attitude that some women just lose babies. When we hit a complication (hemoraging), the female on call failed to come to the hospital the night I lost 1000ccs and made no notes in my chart about the three calls she had with the ER doc. The ER doc wanted to transfuse me and keep me overnight. The OB ordered that I be sent home. (And, yes, I am insured with a non-HMO, traditional policy).

I switched to a perinatal group, affiliated with the same hospital, where everyone seemed to care a good deal more. This was also a "mixed" practice, and while there I saw 3 males and one female. "My" doc was male, and around the time I lost that baby he and his wife lost one too. I'll never forget him sitting on the bottom of my hospital bed the morning after the IUFD delivery and he rested his hands on my calves. It was just a caring statement as we talked.

My current favorite is my (male) RE. I have traveled long distances to keep seeing him as he has left military practice for private practice. He is excellent at answering my questions and we have lots of laughs. He's even told me that he saves calls to me for times when he feels tired from encounters with other patients. I send him faxes and the nurse says that he always chuckles when he gets them. I do try to keep some humor in this--a recent fax was entitled Follicle Fire Drill.

As I get to the end of the great fertility experiment, I am considering who to see for routine care. I may see a female classmate from college, just to have a "safe" place after all the trauma of infertility. Or, I may start all over with a male OB/GYN, just because I've had better experiences with them.

On the other hand, if I was near Lake Tahoe, I think I know who I see...just because of her great attitude. I don't think I'd ever feel patronized by Kelly.

=======================

A related thread on the docs' list addressed questions patients ask receptionists when they call to ask about the group's doctors. If I don't have a strong recommendation for a particular doc, I will ask about M/F, age, board cert, years in practice, med school, residency, high-risk care, and whether he/she is easy-going or a worrier, and--for OBs-- whether they have their own ultrasound equipment in the office. I call the hospital health care finder with similar questions before I call the docs' office. (Of course, as a 36yo G5P1, I won't be seeing anyone other than an MFM if I am ever lucky enough to be pregnant again.)

Luanne




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