WOMENS-HEALTH Messages for June, 2007: GENERAL: husband present during gyn exam

GENERAL: husband present during gyn exam

From: JFurelli (anonymous@obgyn.net)
Sat, 16 Jun 2007 04:46:56 -0500 (CDT)

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I had never really thought of it until the discussion came up during a rowdy party. Always just considered it as something you get over yearly, like the dental cleaning, just more personal. Afterwards I asked my husband(at that time a paramedic) about it, and he said he was always interested(only because it involved me) but never really felt a need to be there during an exam. He was present during most every OB exam and 4 healthy deliveries. Also cared for me medically during 2 miscarriages, as well as present for the internal ultrasound and hospital D&C for one. He said he figured it was a very personal thing and up to me to determine what my needs were for in regards to exams. I asked him if he would be comfortable going with me, and he said he would be fine. I did, he did. It was fine. There isn't anything to done that he HASN'T seen about me through his years of our own deliveries, his medical training or our personal experiences before. As far as breast exams go, he'd find any lump before the yearly exam simply because of the time he spends with them.:-) So it seems to me extremely prudent to TEACH the average lay husband to do a proper breast exam on his own partner, in addition to the annual one. It's not a competition. After reading some of the posts on both sides of the board there seems to be however an undercurrent of mistrust on the part of Dr's, and a tendency to believe that any husband that would go to an exam, even at my request and comfort, is considered controlling or abusive. While perhaps that may be encountered when doing a larger number of exams, it seems imprudent to judge them all by the exception rather then the rule. I would always hope that MY doctor would respect my comfort and extend the same care and courtesy to him as my life partner rather then as a impediment, if not it would be time to find a new doctor. In addition, If I needed to speak privately to the Dr I could always call or go alone. Maybe some do, but I don't need protection FROM him, rather I need him to REMAIN caring enough to meet my needs and be there for me. Perhaps it's time to INVOLVE husbands and partners to DEMYSTIFY the exam rather then create mistrust, in order to form a true, healthy partnership in women's healthcare.

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