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Re: husband dead set against itFrom: anonymous@obgyn.netThu, 28 Feb 2002 23:54:12 -0600 (CST)
Dear Jane, As a survivor of incest and rape, visits to the gyn have always been traumatic for me. I will not accept any physician who will not allow me to have someone else in the room during an exam. I haven't yet had a doctor who would not allow someone else (my mother or husband) to be in the exam room with me. In the state where I live, CA, there is always a nurse present during pelvic exams, except when the gyn is a woman. If the gyn is a woman, it is the patient's choice to have a nurse present. Personally, I know of no woman who looks forward to her annual exams. My mother, having had breast cancer and a 7-pound tumor in her ovary, is very adamant about annual pap smears. Because of her, I have always gone each year, even though I'd rather skip the whole thing. My emotional well-being wouldn't matter, if I wasn't physically healthy. If you are comfortable enough, perhaps you could ask that your husband be present. He can hold your hand through it, mine does. Nowadays, men are a common sight in the delivery room, so why not the exam room? They don't have to be in the way. Above all, you should only go to doctors whom you trust and feel comfortable enough with that you can express these types of concerns. You are certainly not alone in your situation, nor is your husband. He is understandably concerned for your safety. You need to find a doctor you feel comfortable enough with. Gyn exams are far too important to avoid. Best of luck to both of you.
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