WOMENS-HEALTH Messages for April, 2001: Re: Wifes first visit to OBGYN

Re: Wifes first visit to OBGYN

From: Patti Tessler, Family Nurse Practitioner (anonymous@obgyn.net)
Mon, 2 Apr 2001 15:02:59 -0500 (CDT)

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At Thu, 29 Mar 2001, mike wrote: <snip>she has asked me to go into the room with her.<snip> >Is it normal for a significant other to go into the room <snip>

My clients often ask to have a friend/relative present. I'm happy to agree. Sometimes my clients' children are in the room during the exam.

>Will they even let me stay in the room?

You can call ahead to find out.

> None of
>my friends have ever said they went with their wives when they weren’t
>pregnant <snip>

Yeah, but none of your friends are married to your wife, either. Your wife asked you to do this thing. I know you can rise to the occasion!

>She has been talking to some of her friends about what to expect and one
>of them said that she will get a gown for the beginning part of the exam
>but that they remove it once the exam starts leaving her fully undressed. <snip>

I understand that's true in some countries, but is not typical in the US. Here, it's typical for a woman to undress except for socks. Then she will usually have a paper/fabric sheet she drapes over her lap, and a paper/fabric "jacket." Normal US practice is to undrape only the part that's being examined.

<snip>what can I do to make her feel more comfortable?

Ask her! In some cases, my clients' companions hold their hands, talk to them about totally unrelated topics, or just provide a place for the nervous client to look and focus. The first exam is the most nerve-wracking, because we scare each other. As your wife learns the truth about the GYN exam, she may become considerably more relaxed.

>At the same time what can I do to calm my nerves?

Try focusing on your wife. Given your obvious concern for her, I'll bet you'll forget about your nervousness when you're focused on her.

> <snip> what can I expect? Where will they have
>me sit/stand.

I do prefer that the companion not hang out on the stirrup end of the table. Most often, everyone is comfortable and well-served if the companion stays at the client's head. I welcome the companion's questions when they are centered on the client's needs. It's often helpful to have a second person present during medical appointments to remember information and questions.

--
Patti Tessler, BSN, MSN, RN, CS
Family Nurse Practitioner

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