WOMENS-HEALTH Messages for December, 2000: Re: First Pelvic Exam

Re: First Pelvic Exam

From: anonymous@obgyn.net
Tue, 12 Dec 2000 20:21:31 EST

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I replied to your post before and felt I had to jump in again here. I regret not reading all the posts more thoroughly before, because I think I replied prematurely without enough information.

>>>If our story encourages one woman to become more educated before her
pelvic exam, then we are willing to take the associated criticism. <<<

Educated is fine. Needlessly terrified is not.

You asked for a suggestion on how to present your information. Bearing in mind that people don't like to feel as if they're being controlled or toyed with, if you really want to make your point effectively, you'll bring it up in the absolute most non-threatening way as possible. You want to explain something unpleasant to someone by making them feel like you're on their side, like an ally - not against them. Scaring someone makes you look like youre againt that person.

Only those who are power-hungry use fear to convince others to see their viewpoint. They know deep down that if they had a valid case, they wouldn't need the fear element to control others with.

I was one of the few that was injured by my doctor several years ago. _However_ when someone asks me to describe a pelvic exam for them if they've never been, I don't bring that up. Its not the time nor place to do so. Instead I encourage them to have a nurse or aide present during the exam, let the doctor know if anything hurts, remind them they always have the right to leave...etc. That is constructive.

If the issue does come up where it would be appropriate to share my experience, such as when I replied to your post before, I make sure I add that there are some things _I_ didn't do at the time that could've helped prevent the situation. I went to a doctor who was new to the country and not well known in the community yet. I didn't ask around for opinions on how good/bad the doctor treated the patients before going. I didn't request a nurse when none appeared in the room automatically. I didn't speak up when I first noticed something wasn't right. No, I didn't cause it. But there are things I could've done to prevent it.

It's not important for people to be made to think that doctors are doing this and making it look like most have a conspiracy to hurt their patients - all these people needed to hear from you were perhaps some tips on how you think a situation like that could be avoided. I have seen gynecologists for many years since and not one has ever done that again. They are a generally supportive and caring profession. Yeah there are a few bad apples out there. There are also bad lawyers, teachers, priests, childcare providers, clerks, dog groomers...you see me point I'm sure. Be cautious of the few bad apples, but remember that most aren't. Beyond taking simple precautions and reporting it if you've been violated, nothing needs to be done to further prove to people that there are indeed some bad people in the world. People don't need to hear that. Tips are fine, but there's no point in scaring people. Educate - Don't manipulate. That's the real issue that's got so many feathers ruffled in my opinion here.

Kas

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