WOMENS-HEALTH Messages for February, 2000: Re: 15 yrs with no sex drive

Re: 15 yrs with no sex drive

From: anonymous (anonymous@obgyn.net)
Sat, 26 Feb 2000 22:21:42 -0600 (CST)

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At Tue, 09 Nov 1999, SONNENSTUHL wrote: >
>You raise an excellent point here, and I am glad you said it. The
>concern I have is that when I see a woman with no sex drive, the last
>thing I want to do is suggest 'it's in your head', as that is what women
>hear, or are frequently told by other provides.
>
>Some women aren't aware of past sexual abuse, so this is always a
>question I gently pose. Some women get upset being asked, as it suggests
>that you are thinking it is 'in your head'. Once a relationship is
>established, sometimes this can be discussed. On my sign in form, I ask
>about sexual abuse. This allows women who've been abused to state it,
>and provides for a good interaction.
>
>For some women, they've not been sexually abused, and still have
>decreased libido. My suggestions were for this group of women. The
>person that asked this question didn't suggest there was a history of
>sexual abuse, and I don't start out assuming this is the case.
>
>I think you might agree, this is a touchy area, that needs to be handled
>delicately.
>I'm sorry if I offended you. I believe every provider should address
>this in their practice, and be out front about discussing it. Whenever
>someone indicates abuse, I gently remind them the impact on many aspects
>of their life, from libido to problems in labor and childbirth.
>Pat Sonnenstuhl, ARNP, CNM
>"L.S." wrote:
>>
>> For Pat and any other Drs:
>>
>> I really hate to tell you this, but, ALL womens problems are not
>> strictly MEDICAL problems but Psychological as well. There are MANY
>> women out there who seem to have the same symptoms but no reason(s) for
>> their symptoms. Well, I emailed some of those people w/symptoms related
>> to mine and have found out that almost ALL of these people were sexually
>> abused as a child. A NON abused person will never know what we have had
>> to deal with from beginning to end and they can't possibly know the
>> physical damage(s) that can occur to "SURVIVORS". I suggest to anyone
>> that if they have been abused in the past to mention that in their posts
>> so the doctors are aware of it prior to trying to give "ADVICE" online.
>> Then I suggest counseling....that is what I found that I need to move on
>> and get rid of the pain that isn't a MEDICAL condition at all.
>>
>> Sorry for sounding so rude but this makes me mad and I just thought I'd
>> express myself.
>>
>> Thank you in advance for listening.
>>
>> At Mon, 25 Oct 1999, SONNENSTUHL wrote:
>> >
>> >Not being 'in the mood' is a common feeling for women, and could be
>> >indicative of a hormone imbalance. Some feel adding Testosterone to your
>> >hormones might help. Others feel progesterone might help. There are
>> >several good books by Lonnie Garfield Barbach. One is:
>> >For Yourself : The Fulfillment of Female Sexuality. It's been around
>> >awhile, but quite good. There are also several other good books:
>> >Before the Change is a good one by Ann Louise Gittleman:
>> >http://members.home.net/cnmpat/bkrevchg.htm
>> >as is Natural Woman, Natural Menopause, by Laux.
>> >
>> >I think this lack of desire is very common in our overexploited society.
>> >You didn't mention your age, nor other activities. Some couples just
>> >become so busy, it's just not a big deal.
>> >So yes, some hormonal things you can do. Discuss this with your health
>> >care provider and see what they recommend. And don't let them tell you
>> >"it's all in your head."
>> >Pat Sonnenstuhl, ARNP, CNM
>> >Sue wrote:
>> >>
>> >> I have read just about every question on the "forum" trying to find some
>> >> answers to my problem. I have had counselling, been on
>> >> anti-depressants, been on and off the pill and had my thyroid
>> >> checked...but nothing has helped. I love my husband very much and our
>> >> marriage is perfect except for this. He is lovable, understanding,
>> >> patient (to a certain degree, we can talk about anything but neither one
>> >> of us can figure out why this is happening to me. I have kids and my
>> >> problem started around the time of my 2nd child. If I can force myself
>> >> to "do it", once I get going I'm fine but I just can't get the urge or
>> >> desire to start anything. I make up excuses all the time because I just
>> >> can't be bothered. Does anyone know why this is happening, is it a
>> >> hormonal thing. Is there a herb or "anything" that is out there that
>> >> can make my "brain" turn on!. Like I said once it gets going I'm fine
>> >> and I wonder if there's a hormone or something somewhere that needs a
>> >> "boost". After 15 years I need some answers so desperately because I
>> >> just can't go on like this...Please someone help me.

It takes sometimes a few years for the anti-depressants to wear off, (no doctor will probably verify this but I was sexually dead for 5 yrs after being on prozac). I'm also dealing with a lot of personal traumas that I'm starting to heal from, so just hang in there. Desire comes back when we are emotionally and physically healthy, for some it takes a long time.

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