WOMENS-HEALTH Messages for January, 2000: Re: Terrified, Horrified, and generally scared to death

Re: Terrified, Horrified, and generally scared to death

From: Harvey S. Marchbein, M.D. (anonymous@obgyn.net)
Wed, 12 Jan 2000 20:11:34 -0600 (CST)

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In reply to: C.: "Terrified, Horrified, and generally scared to death"

At Tue, 11 Jan 2000, C. wrote: >
>Hoping someone can help. Posted earlier but needing more reassurance.
>The ugly truth is that I am a nearly 40 year old virgin. I was sexually
>abused by my mother (yes, mother...sadly, it does happen). The abuse
>was often disguised as medical care (looking for UTI's, etc.). I have a
>difficult time with all medical care. With lots of therapy and a very
>caring FNP I can now manage most things now without "loosing it", but
>this obgyn stuff is just too scary. Haven't been in three years.
>Scheduled in 5 weeks and I'm trying hard not to spend the next five
>weeks in a panic. I have a plan which includes anxiety meds, a trusted
>friend going with me for support, and a list of "absolute don'ts" for
>the doctor(things I just cannot handle).....but I am still terrified.
>I'm working on this in therapy. I'm trying to reassure myself that it
>will be okay. What will this doc (first time seeing her) think when she
>realizes she is seeing a nearly 40 year old virgin?

Nothing. Especially since you will be sharing your history with the gyn as you did with us.

>Am I really not the
>only one?

You are really not the only one.

>Those parts (the one's an obgyn looks at) are so disgusting to
>me....is it really possible that the doctor is not disgusted?

If we were disgusted, we couldn't do it. It's an examination to help someone and that's the way we look at it.

>I don't
>want to have those parts and I sure don't want anyone to see them....
>Sorry....I promise you that as crazy as this sounds I am generally a
>"normal", functional, productive human being. Dealing with medical
>stuff has been the hardest part of healing from the abuse. I just need
>alot of reassurance right now. Thanks for listening.

Write back anytime and good luck.

--
Harvey S. Marchbein, M.D. FACOG, FACS
Great Neck, New York

**Note:  Opinions expressed here are for educational purposes only
and, as such, do not constitute a physician-patient relationship.
This information is not intended to supplant the need for you to
consult with your physician prior to choosing therapeutic options
and/or interventions.

**Private emails cannot be entertained due to time constraints,
consequently no private emails will receive a response.

**Thank you for your understanding ;-)

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In reply to: C.: "Terrified, Horrified, and generally scared to death"

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