WOMENS-HEALTH Messages for January, 2000: Re: Terrified, Horrified, and generally scared to death

Re: Terrified, Horrified, and generally scared to death

From: Cindy (anonymous@obgyn.net)
Wed, 12 Jan 2000 07:31:39 -0500

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Dear C.L.,

My heart goes out to you right now! I cna say that I DO understand. My abuse came from a 14 year old FEMALE cousin. I was only 7 and 8 when it happened. I will never forgive her and I never want to see her again!

As for the gyn, have you made an appointment to talk with her before going in for the exam? This may help. You wouldn't have to tell all the details but explain why you are so nervous and what you cannot tolerate for her to do. If she is a caring person then she will understand. I think by going in ahead of time this will help you to imagine her doing the exam in your head. You will also be more comfortable with her on the day of the exam.

I am not real fond of drugs, but maybe you could take a tranquilizer or something to help keep you calm. I know if it were me I would be having a major panic attack.

I wish you so much luck and peace in dealing with this. I would not worry about being 40 and a virgin.

HUGS!!!!!!!!!!!!

Cindy

>----- Original Message -----
From: C. <anonymous@obgyn.net> To: Multiple recipients of list WOMENS-HEALTH <womens-health@forum.obgyn.net> Sent: Tuesday, January 11, 2000 9:21 PM Subject: Terrified, Horrified, and generally scared to death

> Hoping someone can help. Posted earlier but needing more reassurance.
> The ugly truth is that I am a nearly 40 year old virgin. I was sexually
> abused by my mother (yes, mother...sadly, it does happen). The abuse
> was often disguised as medical care (looking for UTI's, etc.). I have a
> difficult time with all medical care. With lots of therapy and a very
> caring FNP I can now manage most things now without "loosing it", but
> this obgyn stuff is just too scary. Haven't been in three years.
> Scheduled in 5 weeks and I'm trying hard not to spend the next five
> weeks in a panic. I have a plan which includes anxiety meds, a trusted
> friend going with me for support, and a list of "absolute don'ts" for
> the doctor(things I just cannot handle).....but I am still terrified.
> I'm working on this in therapy. I'm trying to reassure myself that it
> will be okay. What will this doc (first time seeing her) think when she
> realizes she is seeing a nearly 40 year old virgin? Am I really not the
> only one? Those parts (the one's an obgyn looks at) are so disgusting to
> me....is it really possible that the doctor is not disgusted? I don't
> want to have those parts and I sure don't want anyone to see them....
> Sorry....I promise you that as crazy as this sounds I am generally a
> "normal", functional, productive human being. Dealing with medical
> stuff has been the hardest part of healing from the abuse. I just need
> alot of reassurance right now. Thanks for listening.
>

Talk to your friends online with Yahoo! Messenger.

Next message: anonymous@obgyn.net: "going offline, will probably be..."
Previous message: michelle: "periods/abdominal pressure"
Maybe in reply to: C.: "Terrified, Horrified, and generally scared to death"
Next in thread: Harvey S. Marchbein, M.D.: "Re: Terrified, Horrified, and generally scared to death"

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