PREGNANCY-BIRTH Messages for July, 1999: Re: Am I supposed to ask questions about baby?

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Re: Am I supposed to ask questions about baby?

From: Rachael (anonymous@obgyn.net)
Thu, 8 Jul 1999 17:11:47 -0500 (CDT)

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At Thu, 8 Jul 1999, JoAnn wrote: >
>At Wed, 07 Jul 1999, Cindy wrote:
>>
>>Isn't it common to want to know all about the baby? If I >shouldn't be asking questions about my child then please >give me your opinion.
>
>As a debate is beginning to develop regarding "what ifs" and your right
>to knowledge, I've decided to throw my two cents worth into the ring.
>
>As someone who is 14 weeks pregnant with my first subsequent pregnancy
>after a loss (my son Elliot was born still on January 5), I am walking
>and breathing "what ifs" to a new and profound sense of awareness. I've
>already had four appointments and have a growing pile of articles
>stacking up on my dining room table of everything I can read, print off
>from the internet, and copy regarding possible "what ifs". My poor MIL
>is a nurse and everytime she mentions something I can recite to her
>statistics and research suggesting possible mis-information. (I know
>I'm driving her crazy!)
>
>During this pregnancy I've had horrible itching since about the
>sixth/seventh week. It gets so bad that I actually have to break the
>skin for relief. At my 12 week appointment my doctor noticed all of the
>scratch marks on my body (mostly legs and arms). She than described to
>me a pregnancy induced condition where bile salts can collect because
>your liver isn't functioning right. (Having already done some research
>on itching in pregnancy I'm thinking to myself that she is describing
>obsetric cholestis and this baby is going to die too.)
>
>As we talked some more about the itching she described possible
>immediate remedies (oatmeal baths and calamine lotion, which by the way,
>none of my research had suggested) and if the itching does continue or
>get worse later on we could do a round of steriods. Never once does she
>mention that this condition has been linked to stillbirths and can be
>fatal to baby if left untreated. And you know what, I am so thankful
>that she never did. While, yes, I knew that this was a possible outcome
>in severe cases, I'm very grateful that she used her better judgement in
>not going down that "what if" path with me. At this point in my life ,
>the last thing I need my OB to tell me is that this baby could die too.
>
>As I've done other research on the tests run on me after Elliot's death,
>I've learned of multiple other issues that I'm glad my doctor was wise
>in not sharing with me. The possible outcomes, the "what ifs", are not
>always the best to know. If I had known that hypothyroidism can be a
>contributing factor to infertility a few weeks after Elliot had died, I
>would have lived in fear that I'd never be able to get pregnant again.
>As it turned out for us, one time was all it took!
>
>Cindy, I would say to you do ask questions, be informed, seek out
>alternative forms of information, (i.e., the internet, medical journals,
>etc) always have a balance by which to judge from, a baseline. As a
>patient, I think what would be more concerning to me is how it appears
>your doctors office treated you. Definitely, try to approach your
>doctor about this kind-of poor treatment. Remember you are the
>customer! If they are caring and professional, they will have your best
>interests at heart. This goes as well with them sharing or not sharing
>information with you. Sometimes it could simply be that they don't know
>until they've studied all the tests. Even then they may not know (as
>with my son).
>
>Keep us posted as to the outcome of the situation. I'd be very curious
>to know how this is handled. I wish you the best with your baby and
>hope that all of your dreams come true.
>
>JoAnn
>
>P.S. BTW Noelle, what are you still doing here? It's July 8 where is
>Baby Ellie?!
>
>--
>Mommy to Elliot James s/b 1/5/99 & Baby #2 due 1/1/00
>

In my opinion, a good doctor "rises to the occasion" so to speak; giving you just as much information about your current issue as you need to make an informed, competent decision. Remember, our OBs have seen almost everything possible in a pregnancy, especially those who have been around a while. How would it make us feel if they gave us every scenario they had ever seen?

I thought through pregnancy my doctor was "rushed" and brief, but boy I'll tell you when I started having problems, he was right there, taking all the time he needed, postponing appointments, to make sure we were taken care of. He gave me the info I needed regarding my condition (PIH), but no more. I'm very glad he didn't give me a rundown on HELLP syndrome. When I look back, I realize he did a wonderful job of giving me the information I needed to make sensible, informed decisions.

We must go with the flow, because pregnancy and childbirth are very unpredictable things. I think a good doctor knows this and responds accordingly.

I am too wondering about little Ellie... I can't believe it's her time already! :o)

Next message: Pam: "Re: Herpes and previous LEEP!"
Previous message: JoAnn: "Re: Am I supposed to ask questions about baby?"
In reply to: JoAnn: "Re: Am I supposed to ask questions about baby?"
Next in thread: anonymous@obgyn.net: "Re: U/S, No Heartbeat, No yolk sack at 8 weeks."

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