Re: Am I supposed to ask questions about baby?

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As a debate is beginning to develop regarding "what ifs" and your right to knowledge, I've decided to throw my two cents worth into the ring.

As someone who is 14 weeks pregnant with my first subsequent pregnancy after a loss (my son Elliot was born still on January 5), I am walking and breathing "what ifs" to a new and profound sense of awareness. I've already had four appointments and have a growing pile of articles stacking up on my dining room table of everything I can read, print off from the internet, and copy regarding possible "what ifs". My poor MIL is a nurse and everytime she mentions something I can recite to her statistics and research suggesting possible mis-information. (I know I'm driving her crazy!)

During this pregnancy I've had horrible itching since about the sixth/seventh week. It gets so bad that I actually have to break the skin for relief. At my 12 week appointment my doctor noticed all of the scratch marks on my body (mostly legs and arms). She than described to me a pregnancy induced condition where bile salts can collect because your liver isn't functioning right. (Having already done some research on itching in pregnancy I'm thinking to myself that she is describing obsetric cholestis and this baby is going to die too.)

As we talked some more about the itching she described possible immediate remedies (oatmeal baths and calamine lotion, which by the way, none of my research had suggested) and if the itching does continue or get worse later on we could do a round of steriods. Never once does she mention that this condition has been linked to stillbirths and can be fatal to baby if left untreated. And you know what, I am so thankful that she never did. While, yes, I knew that this was a possible outcome in severe cases, I'm very grateful that she used her better judgement in not going down that "what if" path with me. At this point in my life , the last thing I need my OB to tell me is that this baby could die too.

As I've done other research on the tests run on me after Elliot's death, I've learned of multiple other issues that I'm glad my doctor was wise in not sharing with me. The possible outcomes, the "what ifs", are not always the best to know. If I had known that hypothyroidism can be a contributing factor to infertility a few weeks after Elliot had died, I would have lived in fear that I'd never be able to get pregnant again. As it turned out for us, one time was all it took!

Cindy, I would say to you do ask questions, be informed, seek out alternative forms of information, (i.e., the internet, medical journals, etc) always have a balance by which to judge from, a baseline. As a patient, I think what would be more concerning to me is how it appears your doctors office treated you. Definitely, try to approach your doctor about this kind-of poor treatment. Remember you are the customer! If they are caring and professional, they will have your best interests at heart. This goes as well with them sharing or not sharing information with you. Sometimes it could simply be that they don't know until they've studied all the tests. Even then they may not know (as with my son).

Keep us posted as to the outcome of the situation. I'd be very curious to know how this is handled. I wish you the best with your baby and hope that all of your dreams come true.

JoAnn

P.S. BTW Noelle, what are you still doing here? It's July 8 where is Baby Ellie?!

--
Mommy to Elliot James s/b 1/5/99 & Baby #2 due 1/1/00

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