Re: its a girl:)...but hes a jerk

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Being pregnant is such an emotional rollercoaster ride for women that sometimes we forget about our men. They are on their own rollercoaster ride as well and worrying about our coaster staying on the tracks. Perhaps just as you've been daydreaming about that beautiful little baby he was having his own daydreams of a little boy, teaching him all kinds of 'guy' things.... and well, now he has to put all those daydreams away - it's almost like mourning for him so try to be understanding and sensitive to him and don't expect this to be all about you.

Now, on the other hand, he could be a total mysoginstic jerk and if he treated you and your daughter like you are second class citizens and don't have much value then you can pretty much bet that he won't give the new girl in his life any better. In that case you either learn to accept it and try to teach your daughters that not all men are like that and to try to NOT marry someone just like dear old dad or you stand up for yourself and your daughters and tell him that you will not tolerate being treated like that nor will you allow him to instill in your daughters the belief that they are somehow less valuable as human beings just because of the difference between and X and a Y.

You are the only one who can make the distinction and decision and I urge you to make your move sooner rather than later or you will regret it. If you continue to act like he has done you wrong because he's disappointed the baby is not a boy then you will create an air of resentment and it will grow. If you continue to allow him to treat you and your daughters as beneath his level then you will create an air of resentment and it will grow.

At Thu, 7 Aug 2003, amy wrote: (snipped) He is not very involved found out that we are having a girl. He looked irritated said it didnt matter but he did want a boy (he actually said well i guess there wont be anyone to carry on my name and we arent having anymore babies). ..I was so excited and I feel like he pretty much ruined my day

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