PREGNANCY-BIRTH Messages for February, 2003: Re: for ab #1

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Re: for ab #1

From: AB (anonymous@obgyn.net)
Sat, 8 Feb 2003 00:29:47 -0600 (CST)

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In reply to: anonymous: "for ab #1"

I'm about to log off, but I wanted to answer this. Now, I'm not in your family, and I don't mean any disrespect. But at some point you are going to have to stand on your own two feet and live your life in the way you think is best. You are going to have to be true to your own self, and accept the fact that it may alienate you from people who want you to follow their orders. Your father is controlling and judgemental. You can live for him, to make him proud, and to try to be daddy's little girl for ever. Or, you can make yourself proud and and live and think for yourself. It sounds like your mom has let him take away her independence and her self-respect. How can a mother not speak to her own son? In the end, you have to do what is right FOR YOU, not for him. You have a pregnancy growing in your body. You have to be responsible for the choice you make, you have to know that you will be able to live with it. You are living in a painful family structure - please get some counseling however you can. You should not carry the burden of your father's shame. Any father who would be angry at his daughter for being raped because she shouldn't have been at the party in the first place has got real problems. That's not healthy, normal, moral or Christian.

I know you can't see this now, but believe what I am telling you: you will not ruin your life if you have an abortion. you will not ruin your life if you have the baby and give it up for adoption. you will not ruin your life if you have the baby and raise it yourself. You will not ruin your life if your father dissowns you.

You WILL cause yourself a lot of pain and suffering if you don't grow the courage to be true to your own conscience and beliefs. This is the first lesson of adulthood - nothing is free. Your college fund has a price tag attached to it, and it is a really big one - you have to shut up, terminate your pregnancy, and live with that choice in silence forever. Likewise, choosing to have the baby comes with a price tag as well.

--
 It's not fair, it's not easy, but your life has changed forever already - there's no way to fix it. It's just a matter of what decision you'll be living with from now on. You think you're not strong enough to handle it but you're going to have to.
You're going to have to grow up overnight. Incidentally, don't forget that one of those two morons has equal responsibility for this. You are NOT a bad person for being in this situation. You are NOT being punished and you are NOT going to go to hell for your actions, no matter what anyone might tell you. If you want to respond, email me at passefleur@yahoo.com - I'll check tomorrow. If not, I wish you strength, courage, love and support. Take very good care of yourself and remember your life will go on to be whatever you make of it.

Next message: anonymous: "to all of you ladies i forgot something"
Previous message: Tracey: "Pregnancy After Cesarean"
In reply to: anonymous: "for ab #1"

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