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Re: need help

From: AB (anonymous@obgyn.net)
Fri, 7 Feb 2003 22:32:11 -0600 (CST)

Sweetie, it sounds to me like you need to find someone you know and trust to have this talk with - maybe a spiritual adviser or school teacher? The short answer to your question is that physically it will take about two weeks to recover completely, assuming you go to a safe doctor. But emotionally you could hurt for a long long time. You are in a hard place right now, and I know you just want to make it all go away. But you can't - no matter what you decide, your choice will change you for the rest of your life. Think beyond the here and now to how it will affect your life in the long run. And remember that there are now two people's lives to consider - yours and the baby's. I know that you are mad at the situation, but abortion is not a quick fix. You are asking the fetus inside of you to pay the price for the decisions you made - that's not fair. You sound like you are very young, but you have to grow up and learn to take responsibility really quick in the next few weeks. You are not a bad person for wanting to have an abortion, and you will not be a bad person if that's what you decide to do. But you DO have a choice, you could give the baby up for adoption if you can't raise it yourself and doing so won't ruin your future. At worst, you would delay starting school until the spring semester.

I don't mean to lecture or be judgemental at all, please know that I respect a woman's constitutional right to choose. Here's where I'm coming from: when I was 19, I got pregnant by sheer stupidity. I have since had two children. Now that I'm a mother it makes me enormously sad. For me, my babies had lives from the moment they were conceived, and I wish I'd made a different choice. I wish I'd had the baby and given it to a family that could have done what I couldn't have then. So I'm sorry if it sounds like I'm guilt tripping you or chewing your butt.



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