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Re: Loss at 18 wks due to ABS - need support.From: anonymous (anonymous@obgyn.net)Sat, 30 Mar 2002 10:29:37 -0600 (CST)
I just wanted to give you my support. I definately know what you're going through. A year ago yesterday I lost a baby at 18 weeks. The week prior we had an ultrasound and everything looked perfect. I came in the next week for an amnio and there was no heartbeat. I was stunned and in a terrible fog, and had to walk around for 4 days with the baby inside me. Our situation turned out to be a chromosomal problem, but we didn't find that until a month later, and it was very hard to deal with since everything had seemed so perfect. I was not very well prepared for the surgery and was frightened at the last minute when I found out I had to go under for it, but it turned out to be a very simple thing, just new and scary to me. I bled quite a bit after the surgery so they kept me longer, but after that I had no discomfort and very little bleeding at all at home. In fact I was suprised at how minor the recovery was. The emotional healing, the questions, the wondering, the anger, the disbelief, etc were what was so difficult. It took months to heal, but I'm very happy to report that a year later, I am very much healed emotionally, and we're trying again happily. A few things you might want to think about which I didn't have the opportunity to consider — you have a right to see your baby, even if they discourage this, and you have a right to request your baby's remains for burial or cremation. These things didn't even occur to me at the time, and I learned later I could have done this. I think it would have helped me tremendously, but every woman is different, so don't feel bad if you don't want to see your baby. I just wanted to let you know you have those options. I'll be thinking of you. There is a wonderul support forum for women who've lost their babies at inciid.org. that I highly recommend. >
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