PREGNANCY-BIRTH Messages for November, 2001: Re: Has anyone else gone through this?

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Re: Has anyone else gone through this? - when to tell others about pregnancy

From: Fiona (anonymous@obgyn.net)
Thu, 29 Nov 2001 18:04:57 -0600 (CST)

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At Thu, 29 Nov 2001, anonymous@obgyn.net wrote: >
>This may sound ridiculous but I'm 14.5 weeks pregnant and am nervous to
>tell people at my work about my pregnancy for fear something will happen
>and everyone will then have to know about it. I had a miscarriage 9
>months ago at 8 weeks and thankfully I hadn't told anyone at work that I
>was pregnant. (By the way, I'm an elementary teacher.) I've already
>told friends and family but this last hurdle has me really nervous and
>I'm not sure why. My husband suggests that I just wait until after
>Christmas break, which will be early January when I'll be about 19-20
>weeks. It may be obvious I'm pregnant by then! :-) Any advice or
>opinions are appreciated.

I can understand your reticience about informing people not part of your immediate family. I too had a miscarriage (at 10 weeks) so when the second pregnancy arrived, found myself considering what was the best tactic regarding publicising our state.

My feeling is that you've got to do what you feel comfortable with. It sounds like at this stage you still feel nervous, even though you have commenced the 2nd trimester. If you are not showing, there's no need to say and, at the end of the day, you don't owe your work collegues anything. They will understand your need to be a little more conservative about the news given your background of miscarriage and should not be offended if you don't tell them till after Christmas.

Incidentally, I chose to tell people - despite the fact that I remained nervous about the pregnancy for some time. That option felt best for me as I figured if I did M/C again, I would need their support and understanding. They all responded positively and were very supportive psychologically...and I am now 24 weeks pregnant.

My best wishes are with you for a safe and happy pregnancy.

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