PCOS Messages for July, 2003: Re: sponse to 'Leigh Ann the Offended'

Re: sponse to 'Leigh Ann the Offended'

From: Connie (anonymous@obgyn.net)
Wed, 16 Jul 2003 09:51:50 -0500 (CDT)

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Wanda,

I am so sorry that you felt you had to relive all that. I had to wait until today to respond to any of these due to work.

I will be e-mialing you directly.

--
ConnieAt Tue, 15 Jul 2003, Wanda wrote:
>
>Leigh Ann,
>
>Not that you need to know, but I didn't tell all of my reasons.
>
>Imagine how offended I was when all of this happend to me:
>
>I was unmarried.  The child's father suddenly began to scream and
>threaten me, claiming the child wasn't his.  He also decided this was a
>good time to bypass beer and begin on liquor.  He wanted no financial
>responsiblity for the child.  He wanted me to go to the health
>department and tell them I didn't know who the father was in order to
>get medical care.
>
>I was sick as a dog.  I couldn't keep anything down, was crying out of
>control, had no money, no job and couldn't work if I had a job.  I lost
>about 8 lbs.  in a couple of weeks.  The doctor's in the Broward county
>Health Dept.  told me not to work, that I was high risk because I was
>unmarried.
>
>I left this guy in Fla and paid someone to come to Ft.  Lauderdale and
>drive my 20 year old pickup truck back to the mountains of NC.  It was
>getting cold weather.  My house had no furnace.  Have you ever lived in
>sub-zero weather with a kerosene heater in a house that's 75 years old
>and has no insulation? Try dragging 5-10 gallons of kerosene 2 or 3
>blocks sick and pregnant.  That was facing me in another couple of
>months.  I also wondered how I would pay the light bill, how I would get
>food...  my truck was worn out and I needed another car just to get to
>the doctor.  Where would the money come from? Did I want to raise a
>child on welfare? Did I want to put the child in the middle of a never
>ending battle for child support, knowing that their father was a drunken
>jerk that didn't care about them?
>
>I offered the child to a friend of mine who was married and couldn't
>have kids.  She didn't want it, neither did her husband.  They, like me,
>were concerned about learning disabilities related to the father's
>alcholism and drug abuse.(His daughter is 19 years old and failed out of
>school, has no skills and no job, been in and out of treatment centers
>and psychiatric hospitals, has Oppositional Definance Disorder, Conduct
>Disorder, who knows what part of it was inherited and what was caused by
>poor parenting? At that time she was 9 and showing the signs of
>retardation).
>
>I was given up for adoption to strangers that abused me.  I wasn't going
>to give a child to just anyone.  I couldn't hand over a baby, a part of
>me, to a case worker or adoptive parent after carrying that child inside
>me for 9 months and walk away, washing my hands of all responsibility.  I
>have heard that some adoption agencies actually sell the babies,
>basically only very wealthy people have a chance to get a child.  And
>who was going to feed me and pay my bills? My own birth mother went
>kinda crazy after giving away all of her kids.  She is a strange and
>bitter woman and I didn't want that to happen to me.  Selfish as it may
>sound, I did have my own mental health to consider.
>
>I couldn't give that child a decent home.  The father hurt me deeply and
>I would always see that man in the child.  I had only a GED, no money,
>job or family to help me.  My parents were dead and I didn't have anyone
>close that would be dependable for help.
>
>I prayed and cried and finally decided that the best I could do was to
>give the child an enternal home in heaven with God.  The child would
>never know hunger, or pain or go without a good coat in the winter.  They
>would never wonder why their mother didn't love them enough to keep
>them, or why she left them with cruel, unfeeling people.
>
>The reasons I listed in the previous posts, those were reasons for not
>getting pregnant or wanting children in the first place.  You may notice
>being poor was one of the first reasons.  The reason I had the abortion,
>getting mixed up with the wrong man...  that was the main reason.  If he
>had been a decent person I wouldn't have had to worry about food or heat
>or doctor bills.  He made $16 an hour back in 1993.  I was lucky if I
>could get $7.
>
>Don't think for a minute that I am proud of what I did.  I have sat here
>with tears pouring the whole time I wrote this.  That child would be 10
>this coming winter/spring.  I have missed him or her for all those
>Christmases, all those due/birthdays, and every September...  God, I
>think it was September 9...  I feel that empty feeling.  Now, I have a
>good man and I will never hold a baby of my own in my arms.  I am too
>old, too sick and it's too late.
>
>Now, imagine how offended I feel.
>
>Anyone who cares to email me can do so at wanda@daauctionear.com
>I probably won't come back to this forum.  Why should I? I am not
>seeking treatment so that I can satisfy a driving urge to procreate.  I
>am seeking treatment to reduce my risk of cancer, diabetes and heart
>disease.  I don't need this other garbage.  Anyone else who doesn't want
>to get pregnant is welcome to email me.  We can start our own forum.
>
>Wanda
>
>At Mon, 14 Jul 2003, Leigh wrote:
>>
>>I am sorry if I upset anyone, but I am DEEPLY OFFENDED by any
>>post related to abortion.  And especially for such selfish reasons.
>>There are millions of women, and a lot on these lists, that
>>would have taken that baby...
>>
>>Leigh-Ann :(
>>-----------------------------
>>
>>-----------------------------
>>-----------------------------
>>-----------------------------
>>>From: anonymous@obgyn.net (Wanda)
>>-----------------------------
>>-----------------------------
>>-----------------------------
>>>Sad thing is, if the doctor had sterilized me when I was in my early
>>-----------------------------
>>-----------------------------
>>-----------------------------
>>-----------------------------
>>>20's, as I had asked, it would have saved me the misery
>>>of getting an abortion in my late 20's (when I was taking a
>>>'migraine' break from the pills)when I got mixed up with the
>>>wrong guy.
>>>
>--
>Wanda
>

Next message: Jennifer: "spironolactone/hair question"
Previous message: Sonnet: "Re: Sonnet! Arent you due???!! :D OK, UPDATE, pg mentioned!"
In reply to: Wanda: "Re: Response to 'Leigh Ann the Offended'"
Next in thread: Tanya: "Re: getting tubes tied or lack theof because of PCOS"

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