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Re: I can't want to deal with this anymore! VentingFrom: Nada (anonymous@obgyn.net)Tue, 10 Jun 2003 18:58:04 -0500 (CDT)
Well, Ann, I am looking at the PCOS journey from mid life, age 43. I found out I had it when I was thirty, I had been diagnosed at age seven after an appendectomy, but never told about it. When I was closer to thirty and really wanting a family, I was more upset by it, and thought I wasn't "normal" in some many ways. And the cosmetic issues, yikes! I never really spent a lot of time with docs and meds cause I was never actively trying to conceive. Maybe it is a matter of time, perspective, whatever. I know the frustration of not having kids can hurt, but I'm at a point in my life where it matters less. And, I also developed asthma and panic disorder in my mid thirties. So, I have had to face reality, that these medical conditions are part of who I am. They aren't going to go away, ever, though I can control them. I learn about them, treat them, and get on with living. Because while I have the conditions, they don't have me!!!!!!! They are not who I am. I have also been through enough stuff in life to know now that "happy carefree" is just not going to happen all the time. Crap is going to happen a lot of the time, and what matters is how you learn to deal with it. Family? I'm considering adopting down the road here at bit. I have a niece adopted from Asia. She is perfect. I don't need to have my biological child. Cosmetic issues? I deal as best I can, and keep smiling, because people see the smile, not the chin hair. I started reading this forum a week or two ago, cause I am thinking about my future cardio health, with my Dad recently diagnosed as diabetic. I want to learn about diet and Metformin, but I'm not going to let it consume my life. But mostly, it is a matter of saying, "This is who I am, and what I must deal with" and getting on with life, and not focusing on the health problems. I don't want to be eighty and think, "Gee, I spent all those years worrying about my ovaries." I want to be a soul, a person, not a disease. Therapy helps; exercise helps my mood tremendously. I'm not trying to be patronizing, I'm just remembering being where you are now. And trying to reassure you, that you won't always feel like crap. Find work that you love to do, enjoy your husband/family/friends, and don't let PCO define you!!!!!!!! Best of luck!
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