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Re: Lost Love...Rejection...Feeling ugly...Angry...Sad...Confused...(and so on)LONGGGGGG..TO GROOVEMEISTER
From: anonymous (anonymous@obgyn.net)
Sun, 8 Jun 2003 19:05:34 -0500 (CDT)
Why in the world did you marry her at all then? Just because she WAS
FAT, to prove you WERENT shallow?? hahahaha... no other reasons?...like
she was nice and sweet and giving and would make a great
companion/mother etc etc etc!!??? If i werent against divorce except in
the case of adultery I would say the only REAL weight she needed to lose
would be YOU! She probably knows deep down how you feel and you dont
make her feel like the beautiful woman I am sure she is, and we all know
when most women stress or feel bad about themselves they eat and gain
weight....its just how it is! Now, what you need to do is to be a
man...take care of your wife and make her feel like a queen and maybe
youll see a difference. In other words.... Grow Up!
At Thu, 5 Jun 2003, anonymous@obgyn.net wrote:
>
>At Thu, 19 Sep 2002, Kimberly wrote:
>>
>>I think one of the hardest things to learn in life and love is that just
>>because we love someone and they love us, does not always mean they are
>>best for us, or that we should be with them.
>>
>>I think we tend to believe that if we love someone and have a deep
>>meaningful relationship with them, that it is best then to remain with
>>them and keep them in our lives. That this is the way "it should be".
>>That is just not always true. We can love many people, and lose them as
>>well - but their place in our lives is never in vain. It is okay to
>>love someone, and have a history with them, but to also let them go when
>>necessary - or when we have learned all we can from them.
>>
>>This person obviously does not deserve you.
>>
>>Even if you were to lose the weight, you do not know if perhaps someday
>>you will be in a position to easily gain more (pregnancy, thyroid
>>disease, diabetes, etc.)someday. At that time, it will only be more
>>painful when he leaves you.
>>
>>I had a huge fondness for a guy in college and I believe he liked me too
>>- but he once told me that we were good buddies and that he had never
>>met anyone like me before - but he just couldn't have a serious romantic
>>relationship with me because he was looking for someone that looked a
>>little more like Cindy Crawford. I about died!!!! At the time I weighed
>>155 (am 5'7) and looked pretty darn good. I consider myself relatively
>>attractive and was just floored by what he said.
>>
>>But looking back it is clear to me that this had VERY little to do with
>>me, and an awful lot to do with him and his insecurities. To be equally
>>fair it must be said that he has a right to want to be with someone that
>>fits his expectations. He apparently met her, moved to Sweden to be
>>with her, and is now divorced after 4 years of marriage - I on the other
>>hand am married to a fabulous man who would "love me just as much even
>>if I weighed 500 lbs." Not all men have insecurities about weight or
>>appearances.
>>
>>The human race is torn between what makes them truly happy, and what
>>they think will make them happier. I am sure this guy you were with
>>loved you, and probably still does - but because something is sorely
>>lacking inside him, he has decided to make a destructive choice. You
>>must always remember that you can not give him what he is lacking, no
>>one can. To spend more time on him will just be more and more painful.
>>All you can do from here is to learn from this relationship. And it
>>sounds as if there is a lot to learn. You went on an adventure across
>>the country, you learned about love and intimacy and probably many other
>>valuable things...take them all and become a better person - but don't
>>waste one more second on a person so broken that they truly believe
>>superficial adjustments are the only things that will make them happy.
>>He will undoubtedly never be happy. You can be, and should be.
>
>--
>You know, you ladies kill me! Let's just be candid with ourselves shall we? WEIGHT PROBLEMS come from one place... FOOD.
>(ever seen a fat Iraqi or Somali refugee?) I married an overweight girl by deceiving myself
>into thinking that "looks are superficial" and I'm sorry to say, she keeps getting FATTER.
>Don't give me any sanctimonious chatter about "Men who care about women's appearances have deep issues" etc. etc..
>Let's just admit the truth: Women want MONEY, men want a woman who isn't a freakin' COW!
>Anybody who says otherwise is living in Disney Land!
>
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