Re: TTC and then NOT TTC and still feeling bad
From: Lesley (anonymous@obgyn.net)
Wed, 30 Apr 2003 17:31:36 -0500 (CDT)
It isn't you at all, you are a wonderful person. You have been through
a lot
emotionally to get to where you are now, then condsider all the stresses
of hopeing baby is growing well, then add on the effects of pregnancy
hormones. Its amazing that you can just go through the day and keep
your
sanity. It is only natural for you to just be interested in your own
growing
baby, especially as yours is always the most
interesting/advanced/special/clever :-) (but not as wonderful as
mine...).
At least you are aware of your feelings, so are less likely to react
badly
to these people.
Look at it another way, it only took you 3 years to get pregnant, after
5 years we could hardly beleve the 2nd line and DH wouldn't
believe me until I took another test the next day to double check. I
then spent the 1 trimester terrified I was going to loose bump, and
constantly running to the loo to check for bleeding. Even at 30 weeks,
I still get worried if he stops moving for too long (and then complain
when he uses me for soccer practise). I am still having problems with
the idea of buying stuff for bump, just in case it jepodises something -
we only just ordered the cot last weekend, and it takes up to 14 weeks
for it to arrive :-)
What I am trying to say is that you are normal, and blame it all on
those wonderful pregnancy hormones. Just enjoy that pregnancy, it
doesn't last for ever and then the hard work starts.
--
Lesley
At Mon, 28 Apr 2003, Sonnet wrote:
>
>OK I'm feeling like the worst person in the world today :(
>
>As you all know (like many of you guys) we TTC for 3 years. Now we're
>finally pg, and couldn't be happier about it! But along the way there
>were miscarriages and total annovulation and a failed adoption and all
>kinds of horrid things. You guys understand all of that I know. And
>you understand how awful it is, when you're TTC, to hear about people
>who are pregnant, especially if it was a mistake, or took them exactly
>one cycle off birth control, or if they already neglect or abuse the
>kids they have. Or whatever!
>
>Well now I AM pg, and you know what? I'm still horrible about it. I
>still don't want to feel excited for other people I know (those without
>PCOS or other infertility issues, mind you) who are pregnant. I don't
>want to be thrilled to tears about how they're having ANOTHER kid. I
>don't want to compare pregnancies. I want to say, This one is so much
>more special to me than yours will ever be to you! I don't want to
>listen to them go on and on about how they hate being pregnant, are so
>hideously uncomfortable, or how they are dreading the arrival of another
>child. I feel REALLY angry when I hear tha and sick to my stomach and I
>cry all the time when people go on like this. I thought all those
>feelings would go away once I was no longer TTC! What's wrong with me???
>
>My boss (who fits many of the above criteria) had an ultrasound today
>and was showing off pictures, and I just didn't want to even look at
>them. Aren't I horrible? I'm happy for her, sure, but I just felt
>exactly like I always did before - like I hated being slapped in the
>face with someone else's amazing fertility. Does this ever go away???
>Will I ever be able to be civil to pregnant women again and mean it? Am
>I horrible?
>
>Sonn
>
>--
>email always welcome: sonnet_fitz@hotmail.com
>
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