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Re: TTC and then NOT TTC and still feeling bad
From: Angela (anonymous@obgyn.net)
Tue, 29 Apr 2003 08:32:45 -0500 (CDT)
I was just thinking the same sort of thing this morning. A co-worker
sent a message to the entire office with pictures of another co-workers
new baby. Of course, I looked at all the pictures just SO angry that
they were happy and smiling and I was thinking that they don't know what
its like to really be TTC. And I just had to tell myself - one day I
will be that happy - I know I will. So hang in there - you definetly
are not horrible and you are definetly not alone. Angela
>xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
>
>At Mon, 28 Apr 2003, Sonnet wrote:
>>
>>OK I'm feeling like the worst person in the world today :(
>>
>>As you all know (like many of you guys) we TTC for 3 years. Now we're
>>finally pg, and couldn't be happier about it! But along the way there
>>were miscarriages and total annovulation and a failed adoption and all
>>kinds of horrid things. You guys understand all of that I know. And
>>you understand how awful it is, when you're TTC, to hear about people
>>who are pregnant, especially if it was a mistake, or took them exactly
>>one cycle off birth control, or if they already neglect or abuse the
>>kids they have. Or whatever!
>>
>>Well now I AM pg, and you know what? I'm still horrible about it. I
>>still don't want to feel excited for other people I know (those without
>>PCOS or other infertility issues, mind you) who are pregnant. I don't
>>want to be thrilled to tears about how they're having ANOTHER kid. I
>>don't want to compare pregnancies. I want to say, This one is so much
>>more special to me than yours will ever be to you! I don't want to
>>listen to them go on and on about how they hate being pregnant, are so
>>hideously uncomfortable, or how they are dreading the arrival of another
>>child. I feel REALLY angry when I hear tha and sick to my stomach and I
>>cry all the time when people go on like this. I thought all those
>>feelings would go away once I was no longer TTC! What's wrong with me???
>>
>>My boss (who fits many of the above criteria) had an ultrasound today
>>and was showing off pictures, and I just didn't want to even look at
>>them. Aren't I horrible? I'm happy for her, sure, but I just felt
>>exactly like I always did before - like I hated being slapped in the
>>face with someone else's amazing fertility. Does this ever go away???
>>Will I ever be able to be civil to pregnant women again and mean it? Am
>>I horrible?
>>
>>Sonn
>>
>>--
>>email always welcome: sonnet_fitz@hotmail.com
>>
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