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Re: TTC and then NOT TTC and still feeling bad
From: Denise (anonymous@obgyn.net)
Mon, 28 Apr 2003 22:24:38 -0500 (CDT)
SONNET, YOU ARE AN AWSOME GAL, YOU HAVE HELPED ME SO MUCH...A HORRIBLE
PERSON WOULDN'T DO THAT. I KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN . I AM NOT PREGNANT, BUT
I THINK ABOUT MY OLD FRIEND WHO HAD BEEN TRYING TO GET PREGNANT SINCE
THE SIXTH GRADE, JUST TO FIND LOVE, AND TO THIS DAY IT MAKES ME SICK,
ONLY BECAUSE, ONCE SHE GOT PREGNANT(BY HER NOW HUSBAND ) SHE STILL
CONTINUED TO GRIPE AND MOAN, NOT TO MENTION THAT SHE SMOKED A PACK A DAY
, THEN INDUCED HER LABOR TWO WEEKS EARLY SO SHE WOULDNT BE PREGNANT FOR
HER WEDDING.IT MADE ME SICK AND STILL DOES. I ALWAYS THOUGHT WHY
COULDNT I HAVE BEEN THE ONE PREGNANT?? I AM SO JEALOUS OF MY OTHER
FRIEND BECAUSE SHE ALREADY HAS 2 KIDS AND ALL SHE SAID WHEN SHE GOT
PREGNANT AGAIN IS "OH GREAT ANOTHER ONE " I WANTED TO SAY "YOU KNOW
WHAT, I WOULD KILL TO BE IN YOUR SHOES".NOBODY UNDERSTANDS WHAT WE ARE
GOING THROUGH AND I WISH THEY WOULD. SO I WANT TO SAY TO YOU, YOU ARE
NOT ALONE AND I KNOW YOU ARE GOING TO BE A GREAT MOTHER. EVERYONE WITH
PCOS AND TTC ARE GOING TO BE THE BESTEST( I KNOW ITS NOT A WORD) MOTHERS
ANY BABY COULD HAVE!!!! LOVE ....DENISE
At Mon, 28 Apr 2003, Sonnet wrote:
>
>OK I'm feeling like the worst person in the world today :(
>
>As you all know (like many of you guys) we TTC for 3 years. Now we're
>finally pg, and couldn't be happier about it! But along the way there
>were miscarriages and total annovulation and a failed adoption and all
>kinds of horrid things. You guys understand all of that I know. And
>you understand how awful it is, when you're TTC, to hear about people
>who are pregnant, especially if it was a mistake, or took them exactly
>one cycle off birth control, or if they already neglect or abuse the
>kids they have. Or whatever!
>
>Well now I AM pg, and you know what? I'm still horrible about it. I
>still don't want to feel excited for other people I know (those without
>PCOS or other infertility issues, mind you) who are pregnant. I don't
>want to be thrilled to tears about how they're having ANOTHER kid. I
>don't want to compare pregnancies. I want to say, This one is so much
>more special to me than yours will ever be to you! I don't want to
>listen to them go on and on about how they hate being pregnant, are so
>hideously uncomfortable, or how they are dreading the arrival of another
>child. I feel REALLY angry when I hear tha and sick to my stomach and I
>cry all the time when people go on like this. I thought all those
>feelings would go away once I was no longer TTC! What's wrong with me???
>
>My boss (who fits many of the above criteria) had an ultrasound today
>and was showing off pictures, and I just didn't want to even look at
>them. Aren't I horrible? I'm happy for her, sure, but I just felt
>exactly like I always did before - like I hated being slapped in the
>face with someone else's amazing fertility. Does this ever go away???
>Will I ever be able to be civil to pregnant women again and mean it? Am
>I horrible?
>
>Sonn
>
>--
>email always welcome: sonnet_fitz@hotmail.com
>
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