Re: TTC and then NOT TTC and still feeling bad
From: Anna (anonymous@obgyn.net)
Mon, 28 Apr 2003 20:47:51 -0500 (CDT)
You are not horrible - take that out of your mind.
I totally understand what you are going through and wish the world was
more sympathetic. The problem is these kinda things we cannot share and
frankly even if we were to share, I don't think anyone would understand.
Its all about accepting what is coming to us but its ssoooo hard!
The questions that keeps coming up - why me? Its so unfair isn't it?
One reason which may prevent you from expressing joy for others is
because you may still not be getting used to the fact that you are
pregnant. We had a lot of problems during my pregnancy (which we lost
at 21 weeks) and due to the problems I was never psyched up about my
pregnancy - always on the edge. Now after all this not only am I back
to square one but 3 steps down with the diagnosis of mild PCOS.
Don't let other people get to you during this period and avoid those
situations if you can. I took a lot of stress and it affected my health
during the pregnancy adversely. Be focused on yourself and your baby -
I wish you all the best with your pregnancy!
--
Anna.
At Mon, 28 Apr 2003, Sonnet wrote:
>
>OK I'm feeling like the worst person in the world today :(
>
>As you all know (like many of you guys) we TTC for 3 years. Now we're
>finally pg, and couldn't be happier about it! But along the way there
>were miscarriages and total annovulation and a failed adoption and all
>kinds of horrid things. You guys understand all of that I know. And
>you understand how awful it is, when you're TTC, to hear about people
>who are pregnant, especially if it was a mistake, or took them exactly
>one cycle off birth control, or if they already neglect or abuse the
>kids they have. Or whatever!
>
>Well now I AM pg, and you know what? I'm still horrible about it. I
>still don't want to feel excited for other people I know (those without
>PCOS or other infertility issues, mind you) who are pregnant. I don't
>want to be thrilled to tears about how they're having ANOTHER kid. I
>don't want to compare pregnancies. I want to say, This one is so much
>more special to me than yours will ever be to you! I don't want to
>listen to them go on and on about how they hate being pregnant, are so
>hideously uncomfortable, or how they are dreading the arrival of another
>child. I feel REALLY angry when I hear tha and sick to my stomach and I
>cry all the time when people go on like this. I thought all those
>feelings would go away once I was no longer TTC! What's wrong with me???
>
>My boss (who fits many of the above criteria) had an ultrasound today
>and was showing off pictures, and I just didn't want to even look at
>them. Aren't I horrible? I'm happy for her, sure, but I just felt
>exactly like I always did before - like I hated being slapped in the
>face with someone else's amazing fertility. Does this ever go away???
>Will I ever be able to be civil to pregnant women again and mean it? Am
>I horrible?
>
>Sonn
>
>--
>email always welcome: sonnet_fitz@hotmail.com
>
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