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Re: telling guysFrom: Carrie (anonymous@obgyn.net)Fri, 31 Jan 2003 16:57:14 -0600 (CST)
I too once worried how and when to tell my "big secret." Don't worry. When you find the right guy, you'll know how and when to tell him. When I first met my man, I just concentrated on getting to know him and being myself. If you do that, you'll know if the guy is honest, trustworthy, non-judgemental, kind, giving, etc. All the details could be overwhelming all at once, so you can tell him a little bit at the time. You might explain your lower-carb choices when eating out by saying you have a medical condition. If he seems concerned tell him that while not curable, it is treatable and not life-threatening. You might be surprised, as I was, to find that your man has medical concerns of his own. Eventually, your use of the pill may come up. That might be a good time to tell him a little bit more about PCOS, specifically that the pill is used to regulate your periods, because your horomones are a little wacky and don't do the job well enough on their own. When things are more serious, that's when you can start talking about fertility issues. And when you do, keep in mind, that you are NOT defective. The fact that you know you might have difficulties conceiving and carrying is the only thing that sets you apart here. Many women, and men, don't have that information until they start trying. The fact is, everyone should have this discussion before they make a permanent commitment and not take for granted that everything will go smoothly when trying for a baby. Once the discussion is started, keep it open. Don't harp on it incessantly, but explore how your thoughts and feelings on the subject may change over time. I hope this helps!
-- Carrie
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