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Re: GET OUT NOW!!! Husband getting abusive for LindseyFrom: Barb (anonymous@obgyn.net)Sat, 31 Aug 2002 13:09:52 -0500 (CDT)
Dear Lindsey, Thanks so much for the sincere and honesty in your post. What you say is the way my therapist sees it.I keep telling him that once I get my health back then I would leave.He says that if I don't leave;I won't get my health back or worse yet,that I may just end up another statistic.I needed to hear all this from outsiders that are not close to the situation,but can understand. This is just what I needed. As for my father...he was not abusive,,but was controlling. I was forced to go to school and take a course that I didn't want to and how I hated it.All on my father's side are great intellects(ha) and he wanted me to be the same.All are professional health care workers... nurses,doctors etc. I went and took the course while hating every minute of it.I had alot to compete with..both my parents put too much emphasis on my appearance and my education.Dad with education and mom with appearance.Made me very self conscious and I really had no reason to be that.I've always been a frank and honest person who says it as it is. I worked in an atmosphere that was not good for me and I was not good at what I did.I quit.I could not do something that I was not good at. I really don't like to say what I did on the forum,as it is available to search engines.And to be honest..I am embarressed,as I was so poor at what I did. I then got married to my first abusive husband...went back to school and aquired a business degree and did what I always wanted to do. I was in business managements...an operations manager...district manager...buyer...etc till I became ill.I loved my two jobs with passion. My dad cut me out of his life.One-because I married a portugues man and two-because I was in a "flaunty" position as he called it.When I became ill..my father could not handle it and we have not spoken in years.This is also quite traumatic.I am his only child. I would not call the jewellery business "flaunty",rather quite a good career. I was very good at what I did.You can't be forced to do anything you don't want to do,as you will never thrive.Again...I called my years in school very toxic as well,studying what I didn't want to do,and being so poor in what I did as my heart was not in it. Yes..it is good that women are responding and advising me...it does make me more pissed off at him,therefore stronger and not going to play his games anymore. I have attended support groups for my illness and at one time ,my husband and I went for couselling,but he is very closed minded and told the therapist off. He would not go again.This was before I became ill,yes shortly after my last miscarriage. I will write you ,as I don't want to keep this too long,as I have already exhausted this forum with my rants about my husband. Thanks again ever so much for your words of encouragement. Warm Regards to you, Barb
>
-- Sincerely, Barb C.
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