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Re: Miscarraige, 'insufficiency', stupid people, etc- another Valerie
From: Renee (anonymous@obgyn.net)
Sat, 31 Aug 2002 08:30:29 -0700
I'm glad you told her off!!! You've given that jerk enough chances.
I'm glad you didn't agree with your in-laws that adoption would help, or be
good for the child at this point. Marriages in trouble should never add a
child to the mix. It exacerabates the problems, and the child is in the
middle.
If you producing a child for him was so important, they would have had you go
through a battery of fertility testing before marriage. I've actually heard
of some people doing that.
It's not your duty to provide a child, and it's not necessary to be a "full
woman." The family's as bad as he is. Go figure.
Renee
"Barb C." wrote:
>
> Dear Valerie,
> Hey,..if u want a vent partner...I am here for you.
> Maybe we can get it all out together.
> By the way....I already told that witch sister in law of mine off and
> got my pleasure doing it.My husband's family stinks,as he does.
> I've had no support from them,accept one of his sisters and one of his
> brothers...the rest of them(can't even begin to count,as they multiply
> like mice),are ignorant.
>
> All I hear now is"give him a chance".They even explored the possibilty
> with me this last week that we should adopt to make the marriage
> better.Give me a break...I am forty one and in ill health.They should
> mind their own business...all I did was for him.I suffered all the
> miscarriages for him and then am told I am less of a woman because I
> could not give him a child.
>
> As if I need to give him another chance.That would make it 999 chances
> then.
> what am I stupid.Nope.I am getting my life back on track and putting
> everything behind me.
> Your story makes me want to vent about my last miscarriage when my
> husband was too busy to come to the hospital to retrieve me.I had to
> rely on my friend.
>
> I forgive,but I never forget.
>
> Oh,..gosh..you got me ranting and when I start,there is no stopping me.
>
> email me if you wish at barbaracamara@yahoo.com-I am up late.will be
> away from the computer till midnight..leaving the house with a friend to
> VENT!over some iced tea and treating myself to quesadia's/
> Rant all you want...I do it daily to whoever will listen...usually my
> parrot...LOl!
> Got to get it out and you can never vent too much.It is much better to
> let it out now.I never did.I held it in for years.Now I never keep
> anything inside...I am frank..I am human.I have mood swings,I get
> bitchy,but that does not mean that I am a bad person.Just someone that
> is going through a rough time.
> After I get it out to someone that listens...I feel ten times better.
> SO---JUST GET IT OUT AS MUCH AS YOU CAN-we are all here for you.
>
> Take care.
> Barb
> >
> >Thank you all... I am sorry to continue my rant, but I have to say THE
> >SAGA CONTINUES! So I walk into work this morning and I feel HOT and
> >sweaty... a co-worker says "what's with the spots on your face, I run
> >to the mirror and see dozens upon dozens of blood red spots around my
> >eyes and I begin to freak. I called my doctor, she said to come in, and
> >I was fearing measles... it turns out I have petickyi(sp?) essentially
> >I lost too much blood and/or platelets(sp?) during my miscarraige and
> >have been working pretty hard to feel consistently busy, and so my body
> >is bleeding out a bit, and my doctor said to go home and rest for the
> >weekend so my body will make more platelets... I hate being home by
> >myself now, I feel like there is nothing to do but sulk... I hate the
> >fact that there is this never-ending notion that I am ALL ALONE, even
> >though 2 weeks ago I wasn't alone even when I was walking around "by
> >myself," I can't help but torture myself with the TV "Baby Story" on
> >TLC, "Maternity Ward" & "Labor & Delivery" on Discovery... I hate this,
> >why can't it just end!?!?!? When the hell will it just end?!?!?! The
> >baby is gone, I am all alone, and every time I puke or learn more about
> >what has gone wrong, or "participate" in pregnancy/miscarraige related
> >health situations it feels like a slap in my face. Damn it all to hell,
> >I am ANGRY and I feel like screaming, I spilled while cooking dinner
> >last night and proceeded to fall to the floor and cry about spilling
> >"EVERYTHING..." my husband was nearly speechless and what I want to know
> >is WHEN THE HELL WILL IT ALL END... I don't remember my last
> >miscarraige being this bad...
> >
> >Joy,
> >I like your crystal ball comment... I have envisioned saying that a few
> >dozen times...
> >
> >Barb,
> >Your husbands family sucks, at least you won't miss them too much if you
> >do decide to leave... (and maybe you can make a grand exit by telling
> >that bitch off on behalf of all of us! :)
> >
> >Everyone- THANKS FOR THE SUPPORT... I forget who said it, but it is too
> >true- one rant just doesn't quite cut it!
> >
> >--
> >Valerie
> >
> >At Fri, 30 Aug 2002, Barb wrote:
> >>
> >>Dear Valerie,
> >>
> >>Reading through your post with great sympathy and so sorry for your
> >>loss.
> >>
> >>I've been there-nine times.Nine miscarriages ,being told that it would
> >>happen too.
> >>
> >>It was devestating...each one was worse...the last one took the toll on
> >>me especially being in the fourth month.
> >>
> >>It ripped me apart inside and I too ,hated women with their babies and
> >>that is just a normal response.
> >>After my last miscarriage and my husbands family knowing how difficult
> >>it was for me to talk about it and my frankness about how upset I was
> >>that all in his family could get pregnant anytime they wanted..some
> >>weren't even wanted..probably accidents,,,as all have at least
> >>five+kids.Portugues family...they have kids galore and it bothered me so
> >>much.
> >>
> >>Well..two weeks after my miscarriage we were at a wedding and my sister
> >>in laww who is a real witch..comes up to me all happpy and tells me that
> >>she is pregnant and maybe that my loss was her gain.She said god took my
> >>baby and gave it to her.
> >>Can you imagine my RAGE over this.She already had four kids at the
> >>time...my thoughts were...why does she need another one.
> >>This is a normal response to any loss and it will pass eventually.
> >>
> >>I haven't the words to express my sorrow over my losses and cannot find
> >>the right words to say to you.
> >>All I do know is it is good that you have gotten this off of your chest
> >>and venting is good.
> >>
> >>Know we are all here for you.
> >>
> >>Barb
> >>>
> >>>I am so sorry, Valerie...I wish I had words to say. I am glad you can
> >>>come here in vent. There are a lot of stupid people out there. Here is
> >>>one that gets said to me all the time: "Don't worry it will happen." How
> >>>in ^*&^ do they know???? Do they have a crystal ball? I identify.
> >>>Joy
> >>>
> >>><snipped for space>
> >>>>
> >>>--
> >>>Joy 29
> >>>History of Endo and Infertility
> >>>Maybe PCOS
> >>>1 child 10-25-00
> >>>TTC # 2 one year and counting....
> >>>
> >>--
> >>Sincerely,
> >>Barb C.
> >>
>
> --
> Sincerely,
> Barb C.
>
--
--------------
Renee Cordrey, MSPT, MPH, CWS
---
Dwell in Possibility.
--Emily Dickenson
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